tipsy gypsy

of back pains and sleeplessness

2011-10-03T12:13:00.003+08:00

Here I am in my early thirties feeling the signs of aging. A year ago, I caught sight of my first white hair. That was mortifying. I thought I wouldn't get white hair until I'm fifty. These days my colleagues are but in their early twenties. They snicker when they learn you are way older than them. They crack jokes about your age. I don't get it really. I mean, they will be in the same age as I am eventually. Why make fun of others' age? It's just a number after all. Age is a state of mind. I mean, I don't feel ashamed to say I'm in my thirties. So what? But then again, certain changes in my body reminds me I AM feeling my age. I have fine lines in my forehead now. I get insomnia, back pains, and the early stages of hypertension. Added to that, is my weight gain that never seems to alter. Tsk. Gravity is taking over. Maintaining a slim figure and a healthy diet is just expensive. Yes, expensive. The more you want to eat healthier options, the more it gets expensive. I'll be damned.

looking ahead?

2010-08-15T08:17:00.002+08:00

wow, it's been quite a while since I posted an entry here. I have been preoccupied with a lot of things. Mainly concerning my future. It's the third quarter of the year now and things have changed since my last post. I do not abhor the person or the intention anymore. I must have been too blind, stubborn and crazy to think it was a highway to hell. On the contrary, I think I'll be happy with this person. He has proven himself to be worthy of my attention-- and affection. But not all things have been ironed out just yet. We're taking things one step at a time. Baby steps. He knows what to expect. It's also dangerous and risky on my part. But I have been presented with a situation wherein I needed an option, a way out. It may not be the perfect plan, but it is a plan. I have to be realistic. I am not getting any younger, I can't afford to stay naive or idealistic. I have closed one looong chapter in my life. And I don't want another excruciating experience to happen again. It has been a painful journey so far but I got over it somehow. Of course there were times when I had wished it worked out the way I wanted to. That I could have swallowed my pride and start over. But I know that it's just not gonna be the same. I can never bring back the person I have loved and lost. It will never turn out the way I had imagined it to anyway. True, it's wistful and whimsical to be with the man of your dreams, but reality has to take precedence. and now, I'm taking another path to happiness. Career-wise, not so good. I still do not know what to expect in the future. I'm still at a loss on what to do with my career. But he already accepted me for what and who I am. The whole package. And I am grateful for that.

pandora's box

2010-02-01T09:33:00.004+08:00

looks like stupidity is going to be the end of me. I have started something to which I do not know exactly how it's going to end-- or how to end it. It was a spur of the moment decision, or perhaps driven by the need to reach out and communicate-- forget everything and make things right? Or pretend whatever it was that drove me away did not happen. I had no intention of taking it to the next level. I might as well shoot myself in the leg. How do you explain this magnetic pull of attraction and repulsion? Am I playing a charade-- the same one that has brought an acquaintance to alienation and possibly banishment? Why am I doing this? It's like opening a can of worms. I have been in this road before, and yet here I am again, moving dangerously close. Will I ever learn? I do not share this person's sentiment, however sincere it might be. I do not want to endanger what I have right now. And yet...My wild imagination had probably preceded itself. So I find me contradicting my own self. I do not know where I stand or where I'm supposed to stand. To my chagrin, I am using an acquaintance's infamous declaration, "I want something new." But I certainly do not want any trappings of the emotional kind. I simply want it to be the way it was, before that insanity of a revelation which I didn't and still do not share. Perhaps I wanted a subsitute-- not a replica of the original thing. Certainly not. This does not even qualify as the same. Similar, but not the same. Well last night, I was suddenly possessed by the need to clarify things. The cynic in me came out in full force. I said things blatantly, convinced that my instincts were right. It was bingo, right on the mark. Caught in a tangle of lies and deceit and stupid role-playing games. A game that I thought wouldn't crossed over to reality tv. The lines became blurry. I was sorely disappointed. I believed what I have to believe, considering the person's nature-- not to mention personal knowledge of this person's character. My head wasn't full of cotton candy saccharine sweetness anymore. Like I said, I've been down the same road before. I am not going to make the same choice-- the wrong one. So now everything's quiet in the homefront. Maybe that is what I wanted in the first place. For this person to stop pestering me. Stop with the delusions. Get over it and move on. Get the hint.

split-second

2009-12-29T11:40:00.002+08:00

something major has to happen next year. I can almost feel it. The clock is ticking in my head-- and my patience is wearing dangerously thin. My present abode is really giving me migraines--something of the perpetual kind. I had to block out the noise, the oh-so-pretentious, bragging kind. Really can't stand it any longer. Day in and day out I had to listen to them freaks, falling over themselves creating this fantastic bullshit of a story that only exists in their stupid heads..losers. Any hopes of a career change just had to take a backseat for a while. After all, I had gained new friends in the office and I wouldn't wanna mess that up. I am slowly gaining ground in the career department--although there are still too many wishful-thinkings. But that's obliterated at the moment by the sheer force of my desire to bolt from the pit. It's like I can hear them screaming in my head all the time that I have this irrisistable urge to slap them hard. It's like a nightmare that keeps repeating itself, with no end in sight. I need to get away from them fast. Have to get away before I go bonkers.

bitches and cream

2009-09-17T13:07:00.002+08:00

Labels—we never seem to get enough of it. We label things and people like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Labeling has become the habit of most people these days. It’s supposed to make life more interesting. For what is life without its ups and downs, its little surprises? There is no utopia—it’s practically non-existent, not in this present world anyway. Life’s a bitch and then you die, so they say. We deal with what we can in our own way. The outcome will be the result of our actions whether we like it or not. And that’s karma for you.

I myself am not immune to labels. I must admit, I am guilty of it—in some level. But what is a bitch? Generally, people have a negative perception of women who fall under this category. For me, there are 2 types of bitches : a) the one who makes everyone’s life a living hell just for the heck of it (it follows that this person has issues of her own), and b) my favorite, the one who pursues what she wants, regardless of the obstacles that she has to face. Personality-wise, I prefer being the latter, it has a certain edge to it. A bitch is a tough chick, a woman who knows what she wants—and usually gets it.

Most people perceive that when a girl is too aggressive for her own good whether in her present job or in her pursuit of personal happiness, she is labeled a bitch. But hey, maybe one has to be a bitch in order to gain the respect of your superiors, to climb the corporate ladder, at the same time, attain one’s goals, especially in this male-dominated society where almost everything has to be done or decided upon by our male colleagues, etc. In a patriarchal society like ours, a woman has to be assertive in some level. Otherwise, her work never gets noticed, credit is never given to her. Instead, she’s just relegated to the sidelines. Politics usually gets in the way, too. A bitch takes charge of her life, is confident about herself, not afraid to speak her mind and knows how to juggle her career and family life—a balancing act which requires dedication and a lot of guts.

Being a bitch is about taking risks, facing your fears, and making the most of what you have. It is not just being aggressive, it’s also being a role model to your peers, very much au fait about what’s happening around you. It’s about being involved with things that really matter and being aware of one’s sense of worth. But of course, there is no such thing as a perfect woman. We’re not superheroes with superpowers. We deal with our own pain, we suffer like every other human being, we get hurt one too many times. Yet, we go on with our lives, we learn from our mistakes and hope we never fall into the same mistake again. A bitch has to have a heart, too, you know. As one song goes, ‘a heart that hurts is a heart that works’. I also bitch about everything, when things aren’t going well in my life—or when I don’t expect them to happen. A knee-jerk reaction perhaps. The point is, you don’t dwell on them too much—otherwise, it will just make you feel miserable. You have to move on because life is not going to wait around for you. You just learn to be stronger, be a better person. Of course, a bitch could also be a girl sometimes; she’s not afraid to show her femininity. She giggles, she gushes about the latest fashion trends, she wears make-up, worries about zits on her face and drools over some hunk—even if he’s a jerk. She goes out with her girl friends and has fun. She’s passionate about what she does and is in touch with her feelings. She loves sunsets, rainbows and bubble baths. She appreciates nature. So what makes a bitch? All of the above!

musings (Sep-8-09)

2009-09-10T10:23:00.003+08:00

I feel like I’m about to succumb to another bout of baby blues. That feeling of being stuck in the rut is beginning to creep its way back into my consciousness. I know it’s just a matter of time before it’s going to show its ugly face again. I had this very important interview last Friday—or should I say early morning of Saturday, just before I ended my shift. It was all so very sudden—without a warning. I wasn’t prepared to do an interview that day, especially when my shift was about to end. Nevertheless, given the circumstances, I gave it my best shot. I admit, I could’ve done better but… anyways, I do not want to raise my hopes up, considering a lot of qualified people have also sent in their applications. Next week they would announce the results. Only one name would be picked. After this, I don’t know what I’ll do, or where I’ll be. I have a backup plan but even that I’m not entirely sure it’s going to push through. I have been bypassed so many times that I think I’ve gotten used to it. Perhaps I allowed myself to be trampled on by people? Perhaps, I didn’t play my cards right. It would probably shock me if I was chosen. Thing is, I’m not even sure I want it anymore. I mean, sure I want to move up but perhaps it would be in another company, doing an entirely different thing. That’s how I imagine it anyway. I don’t even know if I have it in me. My circle of influence does not stretch out that very far. Would people follow my lead? Will they respect me? Will they eventually trust me? All I wanted was to grow professionally, make my mark somehow. I don’t know if I will ever get that chance, a chance to prove my worth. Is it too late? Or is this it for me?

not quite there yet

2009-08-17T14:38:00.004+08:00

I’m in a constant search for greatness. For as long as I could remember, I have searched this elusive quality with every person that I meet. Rarely do I find this greatness in people. And I’m not referring to material affluence or power—political or otherwise. There was a time when I thought I had a glimpse of this greatness in one or two people that I have met-- only to be sorely disappointed. Perhaps I put them in such high esteem, belatedly realizing they’re also human, with human faults. I had this epiphany recently that I cannot hold back people close to me. I cannot force them to stay with me, take the same course or choose the same path. I realized that every chance, every meeting have its own purpose. Perhaps, my purpose had ended with them, which is why we part ways. And when we meet again over time, it isn’t the same. Thoughts and feelings no longer go back to that magical time in the beginning, when you thought that one person could do wonders, could change your entire outlook in life, could influence others. Maybe every person has their own definition of greatness. Maybe the very definition of greatness changes as we grow old, or as we acquire new experiences. Yes, perhaps I was destined to meet them for a single purpose: to teach me a lesson. A lesson that one must learn once the purpose had manifested itself. Then you learn to let go. You no longer feel pain and despair at the thought of losing them. You set them free. You let them fulfill their own destiny. Letting go is the hardest part. Sometimes, we don’t get over it at all. Yet time can change your mind set. Experience makes us see things in a different light. Perhaps it is just a matter of having the right attitude. But how can one achieve greatness? Is it inborn? Is it learned? Or is it just a feeling of awareness? Of being selfless, passionate and bold? Perhaps it is a gift that only a very select few are endowed with. In the meantime, I’m still desperately looking for it… not wanting to give up. Hopefully one day I will write about finding it…hope floats somewhere in the deep recesses of my heart.

the unbearable state of being

2009-08-06T13:41:00.001+08:00

I haven’t written an entry to this blog for several months now. So many things have transpired that simply took my fixation away from it. I have been meaning to write down my thoughts but it seemed the moments don’t come at the right time—or the right place. It is such an inconvenience when you don’t bring a laptop with you everyday to write down your thoughts. Leading up to this sad event of mourning for a great woman in yellow, I had been battling my own personal demons. The changes that occurred in my career had wrecked havoc upon my state of being—mostly in my sleeping habits. It isn’t just about going to bed and waking up at the right time to get to work, although time and gravity had taken a hold of it. It has gone beyond that. I now find myself in a bit of a pickle over a lot of things. Career-wise, I’m stagnant. The working environment was no longer the same. I now wonder where my enthusiasm went. I no longer look forward to coming to work. Instead, I dreaded it. I dreaded doing the same routine over and over again. The people I admire at work were all long gone. The few friends that remained have taken their own paths. This mixed feeling of depression and dread had become apparent so much so that I have difficulty sleeping. My mind refuses to shut down when I want it to. And when I want it to be working properly, it simply would draw blank. I have taken a few pills to help me reduce this what I know now is called “anxiety attacks”. This wonder pill also happens to promote sleep. It’s a mild tranquilizer that was prescribed by the doctor. I don’t take it religiously of course. I do not want to be dependent on it. I just want to regulate my sleeping habit. It does prove to be helpful. Although lately I haven’t taken them. Going back to my dilemma, I feel like I’m in a swirling mass of frustration, anxiety, and fear; riding in an emotional roller-coaster. In short, I’m in a quagmire. My thoughts are a mess. I have recently had a fall-out with a long-time “special friend”. Someone who had been gone for too long and has now expressed his desire to return. This person had greatly disappointed me more than any other person had in my lifetime. I had put him in a pedestal—almost worshipped him, only to learn that he is a mere mortal; not someone invincible like I thought he was. Clearly I was wrong. But he did have one thing; he had the power to hurt me—over and over again. He tried to make amends with me, for the disturbance he had caused me but somehow, our relationship—whatever it is—had ended on a bad note. Recent events in his life had proven he wasn’t the guy I used to know. This falling out have taken its toll on my emotional well-being. He had come back into my life at a time when I am also feeling down. My destination is somewhat undefined at the moment. Then he had to come back only to bring me more pain. Perhaps this is the reason why I feel betrayed. He had to take it up a notch, messing it all up all over again. But somehow, this emotional separation that I had established between us is just what I’m looking for--the right antidote to finally move on. Now I just don’t know how everything else will play out. I’m hoping to see some positive changes soon. Maybe a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

departure for flight A/X

2009-03-28T14:35:00.005+08:00

I never thought I'd live to see the day that my account would be dissolved-- and in such haste. True, there has been musings here and there but I guess everybody just brushed it aside, thinking it would never happen. After all, this account has been in existence for as long as I could remember. How unfortunate that this would happen. A sad fact that I'm still digesting bit by bit. I'm unhappy about this sudden turn of events but what can we do? It's beyond our control. Then again, maybe this is all for the best--a change for the better? I hate goodbyes. I'm terrible at it. And I don't want any drama, so..... xoxo

i hate tuesdays

2009-03-17T12:59:00.007+08:00

unseen forces seem to conspire against me on this particular day. Everything goes berserk. If it's not raining on my way to work, then traffic would be at a stand still. Then of course, the bus I happen to ride on seems to think it's a field trip-- not a rush hour. The driver would stop at every corner scouting for passengers. I get to the floor and I'm greeted with the buzzing noise of the floor, full to the brim with talking heads. On this particular day, it's hot-seating so I have to look for an available seat. By the time I sat down, I will only have 3 to 5 minutes to spare to set up my workstation. By this time, I feel like walking out and going back home to the comforts of my bed. Since I only have a few minutes to spare, I will not be able to read any updates in the mail. This is my normal routine, actually. I have to read any updates before I log in so that I could relay the correct info to the customers. The worst part is? I always get loooooong calls on a Tuesday. And not just long calls-- complicated ones. I hate it.

like a mantra

2009-02-02T12:05:00.003+08:00

I do not subscribe to mediocrity. I refuse to accept the status quo. I do not want to belong nor be identified with any group. I am myself. I am a conundrum of ideas, of trajectories, of wistful imaginations and contradictories. I do not subject myself to the inane and ordinary. I am not some random girl with seemingly random thoughts. I may have my own prejudices and biases but this is me. I exist. Therefore, I am.

better than expected

2008-12-26T14:40:00.000+08:00

most of the time, I forget that attending obligatory family gatherings can be nice. Even therapeutic. Aside from the normal catching up on each other's lives, there's the funny anecdotes and bloopers from family members/relatives. And of course the abundance of food. This year, my tita was not able to cook her famous home-made lasagna recipe (which is actually the first menu to disappear on the table). She said that due to her hectic schedule, she was not able to buy some of the necessary ingredients on time, which meant the supermarkets ran out of stock. But she compensated by cooking the ever-present spaghetti this season, among other things of course. Mind you, this is not just your regular pinoy spaghetti served in most households. Her pasta recipes are always to die for. This year, the pasta she used was bought all the way from Italy itself, the time when she, her husband and my pretty cousin went to Europe a few months back. She bought it at this 'pasta factory' somewhere in Venice. I actually saw their pictures from their Europe trip. I still can't believe they were able to get inside the Louvre and saw the Mona Lisa. I gasped when I saw the photo of Marie Antoinette's bedroom up close, and of course, King Louise IV's room. The extravagance, the opulence, the grandeur. The chandeliers were real crystals! Anyway, I digress. I generally don't enjoy these family gatherings because some relatives ask too many personal questions-- such as how much you're earning so far. Or if you're moving up the corporate ladder, if at all. I squirm in my seat if the questions are about my personal relationships. I normally don't discuss them, unless it's a matter of urgency. However, I was able to survive this holiday season. I actually enjoyed myself. I felt relieved and exultant even. Happy Solstice!

crapola

2008-12-15T14:58:00.005+08:00

I admit, I can be very snooty, condescending and the most opinionated person sometimes. There are also days when I get annoyed so easily and lose my patience. And I thought I am a patient person. My annoyance usually shoots up during the holiday season. Everything just goes berserk. The mad rush. The packed malls. Picky taxi drivers. The unpredictable weather. You name it. The malls are the worst this time of the year. Not only you have to deal with the stampede of crazed shoppers but you also have to avoid crushing the toddlers wandering or running around the hallways. I just feel my disgust and displeasure over parents who bring their entire brood to the mall like it's a f*** park! Kids should be out there in open spaces preferably public parks so that they can enjoy the greenery-- not concrete pavement. It's also irritating to see couples doing the classic HHWW in the middle of a rush hour. I know they're wrapped up in their own worlds but geez, get a room! This is the time of year when I just want to hide under a rock and block out everything. I want to avoid being a part of the consumerism of this materialistic world. How I'd love to have some peace and quiet. And sleep. Lots of sleep.

same old, same old

2008-12-01T09:31:00.003+08:00

to my utter disappointment, I was not chosen by this certain organization. I am no longer happy with the way things are going. Everyday I have to drag myself to work, forcing myself to do the same thing over and over again. I feel unfulfilled. I have no motivation anymore. I no longer go the extra mile for anything. I'm done. Everything I'm doing is no longer worth it.

catch up

2008-11-08T08:19:00.003+08:00

so I was in this popular resort last October with my bf and some of my friends. I haven't been to the beach in a long time. Perhaps because I'm not a beach person. I abhor going to the beach especially during peak season. I hate crowds. Fortunately for us, the resort wasn't that full. So I had a relaxing time. I guess the most memorable time for me there was walking along the deserted beach at night with my bf and just gazing at the waning moon. Corny, I know. But what the heck.

My US candidate had won. Obama represents change. There had been a significant change in the company I work with. Maybe this is a sign for me. Change is forthcoming. Its inevitable. Like death and taxes.

song of the moment

2008-09-20T14:26:00.002+08:00

Broken
(Lifehouse)

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

counting sheep

2008-08-09T13:05:00.001+08:00

i'm having trouble sleeping lately. I have been sporting this 'panda look' for a few weeks now. Short of knocking myself unconscious by drowning myself with alcohol, I couldn't seem to fall asleep when I wanted to. Even if I go to bed early, I'd still be wide awake--and would normally toss and turn. My mind would still be reeling with thoughts, images, even songs. I couldn't will myself to go to sleep just like that. It used to be so easy. Waking up early for work is just as hell. I would report to work groggy and I would force myself to stay alert and would vow I'd go home early to catch up on my zzzs. But once I'm home and it's time to sleep, my dilemma would start all over again. This must be how heath ledger felt before the tragedy. Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of pushing the envelope and just have an OD. I hate taking meds anyway. So that is not an option. Drinking a glass of milk before bedtime? It would only make me feel full, all the more I would find it hard to go to sleep. I hate the dark shadows under my eyes. And I feel too lazy to put an eye cream to lessen the effect. I just feel so blah about it. I wish my bodyclock would return to normal. I compensate my lack of sleep on my restdays. I just sleep all day. Maybe that's the culprit?

one totally orgasmic movie

2008-05-28T16:47:00.003+08:00

watching Sex And The City on the big screen was an experience. The first thing you're tempted to do after leaving the theater is to go on a shopping spree. The movie makes you salivate on fashion : Prada, Gucci, Louis Vuitton -- you name it. I love the bags! I drool everytime Carrie is shown wearing those high, high Manolo Blahnik shoes! The clothes are even to die for! They were just amazing! I wish I can afford to buy them-- in a million years maybe. Too bad there were scenes that were cut. One of the best things about the movie was, I get to see Mr. Big again. Ha! That's one of the reasons why I watched the series! He just looks so good in a suit. I thought he and Carrie were not gonna end up together. For a moment there I thought there wouldn't be no happy ending for Carrie Bradshaw--the ultimate queen of style. Anyhow, watching the movie is totally fun. It was not at all superficial. It also makes you reflect on life--and love. Anyway, there are two things that I learned in this movie : 1) Women shouldn't feel apologetic about loving themselves more than their man-- such was the case with Samantha; and 2) Marriage is a decision best made by two adults who respect and love each other--when the right time comes, and not because they feel pressured by other people or by society. This movie is highly recommended...gay or straight.

life's greatest lesson :

2008-05-01T14:28:00.003+08:00

wear sunscreen!

lovin' this song

2008-05-01T08:03:00.005+08:00

funny how certain songs give you such profound effect the first time you hear them...

ON THE SIDE OF ME
by : Corrinne May

i'm not the easiest person to love
i'm often the one who lets things go unresolved
yet you choose to be
on the side of me, on the side of me
yet you choose to be
on the side of me, on the side of me

i'm not too proud of some things
i've done in my life
the skeletons in my closet
are too big for me to hide

yet you choose to be on the side of me
on the side of me, blessed charity
you're on the side of me, on the side of me

cause everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
i remember when nobody cared but you

i'm not the easiest person to love
but you, you've opened your heart to show me
what I'm worth

cause you choose to be on the side of me
on the side of me
what a mystery, you're on the side of me
on the side of me

cause everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go

i remember when nobody cared
i remember when nobody cared
nobody cared but you

yeah you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me

Keep on Dreamin' (March 8)

2008-04-18T16:51:00.001+08:00

I had this dream last night wherein I found myself in sort of a hot, dry land with some people I know in my waking life and there was a cat nursing a litter of kittens. More puzzling is that I tried on a billowing red dress and was asking my friends if the dress suited me well. One of them was even trying to take my picture. I liked the dress but felt it was a bit too much to wear for a regular girls' day out. Also, I found a dead fish in a corner which was really big and another one in another corner. And in the highway, cars and trucks were zooming by, the interiors of which are overflowing with water, like they were submerged. And then I had an awful feeling that the sea overflowed and there was going to be a flood of biblical proportions and all of us are going to be swept away if we don't leave the place that very moment.

When I woke up, all I could think of was me wearing the red dress and wondering what it could mean. The scenario of flooding + red dress led me to an interpretation that I will have my period soon. Could I be right? But how would you explain the dead fish? For as long as I could remember, I always dream about cats, sometimes kittens as well but in different situations. Since the cat in my dream was nursing the kittens, it could only mean that somehow I am nurturing something in my life, or that I am nurtured. The color red, according to a dream dictionary, is "an indication of great passion and sensitivity in my emotional relationships." Any kind of clothing (in this case, the dress), indicates identity; self image; exploration of new roles or rejection of old. This gives me a better understanding of my present career situation and my desire to be accepted in whatever new role I have. Also, death means "end of a cycle; something is finally over". So the dead fish probably represents that one or two aspects in my life is finally over. Or it could also be an omen of disappointment. The backdrop of the dream is similar to a desert, and the closest interpretation of this according to the dream dictionary is isolation; retreat; endurance; or a wish to withdraw from something. This I could understand because I have moments where I feel like retreating to a faraway place all by my lonesome. The flood in my dream could mean a very powerful, or even violent, emotionally cleansing experience. Dream dictionary also tells me that "depending on the content of the dream and my emotional experience in it, the flood could also represent sexuality and be a sexual dream symbol." Whaat?! How could that be?!! Dreams are just so hard to piece together because some symbols could be contradictory to the other symbols! Well, now at least I have a general idea on what my dream meant, or might mean.

really?

2008-01-23T16:17:00.000+08:00

Who's Your Sex and the City Match?

My Result: Charlotte

Looking for the perfect Bergdorf Goodman dishes to match your impeccable kitchen? Shopping at Tiffany's for a new string of pearls? Fantasizing about the perfect job as a New York City art gallery owner? Maybe not exactly, but when it comes to a refined taste and a sweetness like no other, you're just like Charlotte!

Of course you aren't all sugar; you've definitely got a tough heart under that pretty cashmere sweater, but you are probably happiest when you are surrounded by supportive relationships and a great romance (you only get two, you know!) So live it up, because you deserve nothing but the best in life, whether it's fine china or true love. Now that's some good taste!

Take this test >

the beat that my heart skipped

2007-12-13T12:54:00.002+08:00

Love is such a strange thing. A plethora of emotions assault your senses all at the same time-- confusing you, blurring your good judgment. It weakens your resolve. It could also melt the coldest of hearts. Yet it is such a rare thing to find; and when you do, everything seems to fall into place. Suddenly, everything makes sense. Love could also end in tragedy. When it does, your whole world crumbles down. You become a whimpering idiot. Then why do people still keep falling in love? What if you fall then someone came along and realize he's the love of your life? What if you fall for the wrong kind? Would love make it valid and fair? Truth is, no one would ever really understand until they experience it. That's why there are so many romantic fools out there. They believe in the very idea of love but most of the time, they wake up to reality. Then of course, a whole lot of factors need to be sorted out. You no longer throw caution to the wind. You fall back to earth. With a thud.

hell hath no fury

2007-12-03T12:51:00.001+08:00

I was running a fever last Nov. 29 when the supposed makati standoff happened. I went to work that day despite the foul weather. Just like before, ayala avenue was closed to motorists and pedestrians so most makati employees ended up walking to either buendia or edsa via dela rosa street. It was frustrating going home since it was raining all day. I was cursing trillanes on my way home for the inconvenience of it all. What is it with him and hotels anyway? I suspect a trapo was behind all the ruckus-- and trillanes served as a mere puppet, or a willing conspirator. Has anyone noticed the makati mayor was suspiciously absent during the stand off? Why would he allow something like that to happen within his jurisdiction? Oh I forgot, he is the leader of the united opposition. It was stupid to mount a coup or a rally at this time of year when people are preoccupied about the holidays. It seems that trillanes wants to pull everyone down with him. And where he is now? Back to square one. Idiot!

They're having a reunion concert!

2007-11-12T13:30:00.001+08:00

Which Spice Girl Are You?

My Result: Ginger Spice

Leave it to you to say what's really on your mind, and you'll usually say it with a saucy wink. Just the right blend of girly and tough, you love getting attention wherever you go and those little tiny skirts and high, high heels certainly don't hurt either.

You'll usually show up to the party (on the VIP list, of course), but you'll probably be the first to move on to bigger and better things once you get there. Maybe you have a hard time staying in line with the crowd, but that doesn't mean you're wrong. You're a true original and they're just jealous!

Take this test >

so romance is not dead?

2007-11-10T16:50:00.000+08:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071109/od_nm/subway_dc_1

the placebo effect

2007-09-13T17:08:00.000+08:00

if I can just teleport myself to an unknown country just so I can avoid this perpetual headache that defines philippine politics. All this drama and hypocrisy is making me gag!

2007-08-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you except because I love you;

I go from loving to not loving you,

From waiting to not waiting for you

My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;

I hate you deeply, and hating you

Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you

Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume

My heart with its cruel ray,

stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who dies,

the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,

Because I love you,

Love, in fire and blood.

If Your Life Was A Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

2007-07-29T13:19:00.001+08:00

The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times.
Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness!

Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

surreal . . .

What Kind of Soul Are You?

2007-07-29T10:04:00.000+08:00

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world
So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time
You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...
But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.
Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.
Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.
Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

so true . . .

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

2007-07-29T09:45:00.000+08:00

You Are A Realistic Romantic

It's easy for you to get swept away by romance...
But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective.
You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets
You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

hmmm. . .

How Cynical Are You?

2007-07-29T09:16:00.000+08:00

You Are 48% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist.You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howcynicalareyouquiz/">How Cynical Are You?

damn right!

cancer on a stick

2007-07-24T08:28:00.000+08:00

there should be an effective law in this country which prohibits cigarette smokers from smoking in public places (including sidewalks along Edsa and other commuting stations). Everyday when I go to work, I always encounter people (mostly men) who puffs a smoke on their way to their respective jobs without a care in the world. They are not aware that the person behind them/beside them/nearby is already inhaling the toxic emanating from their cheap cigarettes. These individuals do not seem to know the trouble they cause for second-hand smokers who bear the brunt of this disgusting habit-- or they simply couldn't care less. I do not like the smell of it sticking to my clothes so early in the morning when I'm off to work. I care about what and how I look when I go to work and the last thing I want is to smell bad when my day hasn't even started yet. I don't have a problem per se with smokers, it's just that I wish they could be a little bit more considerate of others. I wouldn't be surprised if I develop lung cancer by the time I reach the age of 40-- what with all the second-hand smoking that I'm getting! Just imagine, you try to live a clean life and yet you end up acquiring the same lung diseases as them smokers. How ironic!

the ratpack

2007-07-15T08:39:00.000+08:00

we had a family dinner last night at serendra at the fort. It was a reunion of sorts since one of my uncles just arrived from abroad for a vacation. The place was packed since it was a saturday evening. We even had a hard time getting a table--and there were like 14 of us last night! I liked the ambiance of the place-- very laidback, very hip and yet family-friendly. It's the "it" place these days, a must--if you want to be seen. There are a lot of trendy boutiques and nice little shops worth discovering. It was nice being part of a family again-- I almost forgot what it was like. We hardly see each other anymore since we do live our own lives, live in different houses and have varying schedules. It was good to see everyone again. The weather even cooperated. It didn't rain last night, the weather was mild. After dinner, we explored the place while keeping a warm chatter along the way. We left the area just a little past midnight. When I got home, I managed to catch some sleep for about two hours before being awaken by my alarm clock again to go to work. But it was worth it. I wish we could do it more often...

the cul-de-sac of life

2007-07-08T09:47:00.000+08:00

If being born is supposed to be a celebration, then why am I not living la dolce vita? I know circumstances have something to do with it but then you grow up, get a job and you realize--how the hell did I get here? Let's face it, not all of us actually end up where we want to be. Life happens, that's what. Life it seems has a wicked sense of humor. You spent your young life dreaming of adventure, of tales of success and glory and yet it gets you nowhere in the end. You end up with a dead-end job. Then you start questioning the purpose of man's existence. Why are we here? What are we supposed to do? You even start questioning the existence of your boss. Why the devil incarnate wouldn't give you the chance of promotion, of proving your worth. If only we are given equal opportunity to grow and get the support of our peers and superiors, then I guess we can achieve something.

Contradictory to the statement above, what is the logic behind a promotion anyway? So that you can have a massive stroke and die young? That defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Promotion equates to more responsibilities, and more responsibilities means longer hours. Longer hours coupled with stress equates to a heart attack and eventually, death. For sometime now, I have avoided the same fate that some peers have faced (not death I mean). I was fairly happy with where I was in my career. But you gotta admit, promotion means getting a higher paycheck. A higher paycheck means making the most of it--meaning spending. You want to have that occasional pat in the back by means of buying yourself some expensive item that you wouldn't normally buy. Splurge. More importantly, you also want to save up for the rainy days, for the future.

With the exception of the filthy rich who are not like you and me, life incessantly and mercilessly throws us off balance. Your dreams are always out of reach and/or unrealistic. You end up choosing the most practical and yet you still find yourself making ends meet. Even more aggrevating if you happen to have a few mouths to feed. Expenses seem to pile up, you cut corners in order to save. Yep, that's the preoccupation of most people these days, and I'm no exception.

Nevertheless, there's one thing that I do care to admit: the fact that I like surprises--good surprises for the most part. It's the spice of life. It's what makes us continue living. It makes everything seem worth the sacrifice and the pain. Though in some instances, surprises could become stumbling blocks to your path of success. But I believe that if you keep an open mind, given the proper motivation and a solid affirmation that you're going to emerge a winner, then everything will just fall into place. Yes, life sucks sometimes, especially when you're having a bad day one after another. Everyone has bad moments, that moment when you experience anxiety attacks, afraid of the future, afraid of failing altogether. I guess that's normal-- as long as they're not excessive of course. In those circumstances, you could lose your momentum and it could break your spirit. There is truth in the passage: 'You are what you believe yourself to be.' That is my personal motto these days. I want to believe I can make it. I want to believe, period.

carpe diem

2007-07-06T13:38:00.000+08:00

If you have a 'carpe diem' moment, a chance to be spontaneous for one day, what would it be? Mine is listed below :

1. Drop whatever I'm doing in the office and just walk out.
2. Tell my boss exactly what I think of him/her.
3. Take a nice bubble bath.
4. Eat a lot of ice cream in all possible flavors.
5. Eat a lot of cake in all possible flavors.
6. Bungee jump.
7. Learn to play the violin.
8. Learn to play the piano.
9. Take dancing lessons, preferably salsa.
10. Participate in a pie-eating contest.
11. Audition for a rock band.
12. Audition for a play (preferably a role in Rent or any Shakespeare play).
13. Learn to skydive.
14. Publish my own book.
15. Build a school.
16. Travel.
17. Bathe in the fountain fully clothed.
18. Participate in car racing.
19. Participate in an archeological explorations.
20. Go treasure-hunting.

. . . and then some :

21. Enroll in an art class
22. Make my own perfume
23. Enroll in pottery-making
24. Purchase an island
25. Discover the fountain of youth
26. Invent something
27. Put up my own restaurant
28. Purchase a 2-bedroom condo unit
29. Ride off into the sunset with the man of my dreams.
30. Tell the man of my dreams that I love him, that he's 'The One'.

a trip down memory lane

2007-06-23T07:02:00.000+08:00

I didn't get much sleep last night. I was out with some old friends (former officemates) yesterday night and I went home later than usual. We agreed to meet at their office where I used to work before going to CPK where we agreed to have dinner. I have never set foot there again after I quit my job more than three years ago. I'm glad I dropped by. It was nice to see familiar surroundings again. I saw my old desk where I used to spend a lot of time preparing contracts and other paperworks during and after closing a deal with clients. The minute I stepped inside the premises, I was transported back to my carefree days in that office. I felt nostalgic. It felt good to be back. I had fond memories there. It was like a real home to me back then. I used to stay up until 9 o'clock in the evening holed up in my workstation along with some remaining colleagues who also happened to be tying up some loose ends for the day. Then we'd turn off our PCs and lock up the office. Sometimes, when we were still too lazy to go home, we would grab a cup of hot coffee first at seattle's best (which was only at the ground floor of our office bldg), chat away for an hour before calling it a night. I missed those times. I loved my work then. It was stressful but at the end of the day, you get a feeling of fulfillment. My former job used to keep me on my toes. I remember lumping up four to five client meetings in a row in one day. I usually divide my day shuttling from makati to eastwood then back again. I loved meeting with clients and picking their brains. I loved discussing ideas with them. They give you a peek into their world. Most of all, I loved getting commissions. I will be forever grateful to my former company because that's where I learned the ropes in the real estate business. That's also where I met a lot of people and where I gained a lot of sales exposure. Of course I still can't afford to buy my own condo unit, considering that wer'e involved in selling mostly high-rise condominiums at prime locations. Hopefully, I will be able to buy my own condo sometime in the future. But I digress. Anyhow, it was really good to see all of my former colleagues last night. We had a marvelous time. After dinner, we headed to the nearest starbucks and ended the night there. We were all happy to see each other again that we agreed to meet the week after next... what a night indeed.

something's brewing

2007-06-21T17:14:00.000+08:00

a significant change is about to manifest itself in my life. . .

keeping it at a minimum

2007-05-29T10:02:00.000+08:00

I've always avoided too much melodrama, whether it be on television or in real life. As a self-confessed cynic, you'd find me rolling my eyes and wanting to puke whenever I encounter such. There's already too much drama going on in the world that the last thing I wanna hear is another drama unfolding-- like that of the showbiz kind (kris & james, ruffa & the turk, ogie & regine, etc). I usually keep my private life private. Excesses are not my thing. So whatever goes on in my life normally doesn't manifest itself in an outward manner and thus, preventing from spilling over to my work. Of course, there's the normal highs and lows of everyday life, what with the "stressful" job that I do. A few slips here and there are forgivable when you're in the doldrums and doesn't quite know what to make of your current sitch.

So here I am, coping with life, struggling to make ends meet-- and presently in the doldrums. I would've used the word 'limbo' but the church had officially scrapped that from their theological teachings. My personal life isn't exactly all bright and shiny right now, but more dark and twisty like meredith from grey's anatomy. I would've wished my life would be more adventurous and exciting. My relationship with my current beau had recently hit a snag. I won't go into details but we're quite in a rough patch right now and still working on it. A few days ago, I thought we were in the brink of going our separate ways. I was faced with the prospect of infinite sadness. I came close to being devastated. Frankly, I would'nt have known what to do if it did happen. But I'd rather not dwell on it. Mind you, everything still looks fuzzy at the moment but we patched things up in the nick of time. Just the same, I can't help thinking, there's something else missing. . .

chance

2007-04-14T09:52:00.000+08:00

I had the surprise of my life when I received a friendster invite from a guy I used to know. His name sounded familiar but I couldn't for the life of me remember where or how I met him until I browsed thru his friendster profile. I couldn't believe it. I met him when I was having my OJT in one of the TV networks here in manila. And that was like, eons ago! It's really amazing what friendster can do! This morning when I checked my emails, I found out that he sent me a message. I was stunned when he said he still kept those letters I sent him way back when. He is now based in california. Imagine my astonishment when he mentioned that he told his mom to send him all my old letters to him in the US! What kind of guy would do that?! I mean, why would he still keep all those letters all these years!! Wow! I couldn't even remember what I have been writing him then. So that's how he found me! He searched me thru friendster. Is this kismet or what?! Anyhow, I think it's great that he still tries to stay in touch with all those people that he met in life, no matter how fleeting they may be. He's one great guy-- very sweet and likeable. I remember I instantly liked him when I first met him. He's one of those rare people where you can just be yourself around him, no pretensions.

discovery

2007-04-07T10:09:00.000+08:00

I stumbled upon this little boutique tucked somewhere in legaspi village that sells vintage and indie clothes and accessories. I found this amazing shimmery top that I liked so much. But I was dismayed when I checked the price : it was P3,000+. I could've used my credit card right then and there but the thing was, they only accept cash. Darn! Most of their items are a bit expensive since they source out their clothes all over europe-- in fact, some items they carry are designer labels from past collections. I love the top so much that I've been dreaming about it for the past 3 days. I have been trying to restrain myself from shopping the past few weeks since I don't wanna max out my credit card. I would like to drop by to that boutique again once I have moolah to spare.

old times

2007-03-03T12:31:00.000+08:00

last night I had dinner with two of my old college friends somewhere in greenbelt. Although I occasionally see one of them, it had been years since I last saw my other friend. He got married last year but I wasn't able to attend his wedding due to unavoidable circumstances. And my, my! Did he look so manly now. It was really nice to catch up on things and reminisce on our youth-- back when we were all carefree and life was just simple. Now we were all grown up living separate lives, preoccupied with work and burden with other responsibilities. I have noticed that we have gone mature on our outlook on life. We discussed our careers, our family lives. We reflected on the things that matter now, unlike before when we were only concerned about getting good grades and having fun. It's realy nice to keep your old friends because they make you stay young-- young at heart at least. The three of us wish we can get together more often. One more thing, as I look back now, I felt a little pang in my heart. Seeing my old friends made me want to turn back time. It's like wanting to be young again-- and carefree. If only life were so simple...

how true

2007-03-02T13:47:00.000+08:00

"In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes. For they in thee a thousand errors note; But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise." --Shakespeare

what dreams are made of (posted Jan. 30)

2007-02-01T18:38:00.000+08:00

i felt optimistic this morning on my way to work. For a moment there i felt alive-- a seldom occurence in this hectic world that I'm in. I felt like everything's going well. It's as if something good is bound to happen, I felt it. I just don't know what it is. I've always had days like this. You wake up and you just know it's going to be a good day. You forget all your troubles the day before. You get a clean slate. Somehow, you feel lighter and you look forward to the day itself. There are times that you just dread going to work, doing the same boring things over and over again. But this is not the case today. I was actually raring to go back to work after my rest day. Sometimes whatever you're expecting to happen doesn't even matter, it doesn't even have to happen at all. You just want to sustain the feeling the entire day. I think that's the secret to keep your sanity.

Do you ever had that feeling that you have a certain connection to a place or a person? Well I had that fleeting moment this morning. I felt I was somehow connected to India of all places. There was even a teeny tiniest fraction of a second where the place I was in suddenly shifted and I felt like I was actually transported to India! I know it may sound laughable or ridiculous but I've always wanted to go to that place. I imagined myself donning one of those exotic clothes. I have even imagined I can somehow trace the early dwellings of the gypsies. I can imagine running off to join them and leaving my present life behind. I always have this feeling that somehow I belong to an old world-- a world that is lost and forgotten. I feel like my present life is actually part of the matrix. None of it is real. Maybe I can just become a hermit and just watch the modern world go by.

I know there are things in my present life that I need to fix and/or address-- soon. I have been procrastinating so far but last night I have realized that nothing will come of it if I just keep on wondering what I want to do or when I'm going to do it. I have to make things happen. Carpe diem. I just wish I have the drive to sustain this 'do-something-right-now' kind of feeling.

the anti-social

2007-01-10T16:37:00.000+08:00

what monster of a person I am turning out to be! I don't usually post any thing that deserves as little attention as possible but since it is somehow connected to my general well-being (mostly my mental state), I decided it would do me a great deal if I let it out in the open. Although I still maintain that the following subject matter doesn't deserve any space in my blog. Anyway, a young couple just moved in next door just before christmas-- right next to my rented studio unit. Most people don't know I don't generally socialize with neighbors-- not because I dislike them altogether but due to the fact that the typical pinoy neighbor usually go overboard and cross the line over their friendliness. Most of them don't recognize the borderline you establish. They tend to put their nose into your business too much; they pry into your private affairs and seemed to want to know every little detail about you. Now I value my privacy just as much as the next person but when a neighbor becomes too much of a burden, that's the time I become anti-social. I could've ignored the new neighbors-- or even be polite to them if not for the fact that on their first night, they decided to held a drinking session right outside my window, close enough to hear every noise they make! So that didn't sit with me very well. They say first impressions last. True enough! Don't get me wrong, I don't care much for anything that they do, my only concern is for them to be considerate enough. I mean, after all, I tolerate their behaviour but it should be a two-way street, don't you agree? I do this for you, you do this for me; you scratch my back, I scratch yours. Give and take in other words. My landlady mentioned the couple works for an advertising agency-- like hellloo?! I've never seen them go to work! They're usually at home watching TV, or busy with their playstation. Most of the time, they go out for a drinking spree with their phony friends. If they are what they pretend to be, they will not be home all day! And certainly, if they supposedly work for a prestigious ad agency, they will be residing in a condo in downtown makati! See? I'm not even sure where they exactly came from. Since christmas, I've never had any peace and quite in the house because of my noisy neighbors who allow just about every stranger inside the premises! Visitors come and go throughout the day, leaving the gate wide open for burglars to see! I won't be surprised if one of these days, something have been stolen in any of the units. I have already complained to my landlady but just the same, my usual peace & quiet have been disrupted altogether. So I avoid any interaction with them as much as possible. Frankly I just don't know when I can still tolerate their presence!

losing it

2007-01-05T11:55:00.000+08:00

i woke up wednesday morning and found out I lost my voice. The only sound that's coming out was a squeak intermingling with an annoying screeching sound, like that of a car. Yes, I had severe sore throat due to the colds I have for the past few days. I didn't wanna call in sick for work that day so I came to the office that morning with a husky voice. Hoping that perhaps later in the day, it will eventually improve. My voice didn't even sound sexy, it kinda sounded like a voice of an old lady with a bad cold-- or worse, a voice straight from hell. I realized later in the day that it was only getting worse, even after taking a lozenge and lots of liquid. So I was squeaking all throughout my calls, throughout the day. I also got a lot of teasing from my colleagues because of my weird voice. I couldn't communicate well, people didn't understand what I say. And I had to repeat myself over and over just to get the message across, which didn't help at all since I'm only straining my voice further. I filed a leave of absence yesterday so I can rest my voice. I took a 'vow of silence' yesterday to preserve whatever voice I have left. I still have nasal decongestion today but I regained my voice a bit, although I am trying not to strain my voice too much...

how the grinch stole christmas

2006-12-28T16:47:00.000+08:00

two unforgettable incidents this month : I was picked as one of the raffle winners from the year-end party that the company organized but never got the prize. And I got sick on Christmas day.

For the first incident, for reasons unknown to me, the person in charge of the raffled off items informed me in a flat, unforgiving voice that my name was not included on their list of winners, which only meant that I didn't win anything. Imagine my embarrassment! The people I know who were at the party and present during the raffle attested I was picked as a winner. They said my name was even flashed on the huge screens mounted on the stage at the party. My mistake was I left the party early so I wasn't able to claim the 'ipod' that people said I won. So when I tried to claim it 2 days later, my name disappeared on their list? So something must've happened by then huh! The party would've been fun if it wasn't for that terrible disappointment. The raffle organizers couldn't provide me with a straight answer. But I'm sure somebody else already claimed the prize intended for me.

Then of course, on Christmas day, I was running a fever so I was bedridden the whole time, I couldn't do anything much. I wasn't able to report to work the next day because of that. so I guess that's how my year ended. . .

feeling murderous

2006-12-02T13:44:00.000+08:00

i'm having a bad day at the office right now. I had to deal with a lot of bullcrap from unreasonable customers. I don't know if I want to cry or scream in frustration. I feel like murdering anyone who would dare speak to me. And it's not helping that I am sitting beside a person I would not rather sit with. I went downstairs for a while for my lunch but I lost my appetite. I just went to starbucks and bought a mocha frap to help me cool off but there's still this dark cloud hovering over my head. That should give people a warning not to get near me right now. @#$%&^*

clobbered

2006-11-18T13:58:00.000+08:00

so I didn't make the cut. Big deal. I think I wasn't that serious to really deserve that elusive promotion. I'll be a hypocrite not to admit I was a bit disappointed. But hey, at least I tried. It's not the end of the world. I have a feeling I am meant to go somewhere else. Either that or I am meant for something else.

I am not having a good week either. For the first time in a long time, I have gotten some serious acne problem that just wouldn't go away. It's not just one tiny problem, mind you. It's more than one huge problem! I don't know why they sprouted all of a sudden. One even grew on my nose, of all places! Now I look like a witch but instead of a wart, I have acne. There was this one time when I thought I can feel them growing on my face, ughs! I just changed my bedsheets and all but still! And I'm not under a lot of stress nor pressure right now so that doesn't sum up. Its absolute hideousness creeps me out! It's been a week now and I have yet to see them disappear. I have been using a facial cleanser meant specifically for that and have been applying a gel as an antidote to no avail. It did reduce the swelling a bit but I'm not too happy about that either. I just want them to go away, gone for good.

2006-11-03T15:06:00.000+08:00

Cinemanila International Film Festival Official Selection

INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION
1. 9TH Company, Dir. Fyodor Bondarchuk (Finland,Russia,Ukraine)
2. Climates ,Dir. Nuri Bilge Ceylan (Turkey,France)
3. Citizen Dog, Dir. Wisit Sasanatieng (Thailand)
4. Everlasting Regret, Dir. Stanley Kwan (Hong Kong)
5. Heremias ,Dir. Lav Diaz (Philippines)
6. It's Only Talk ,Dir. Ryuichi Hiroki (Japan)
7. Kubrador ,Dir. Jeffrey Jeturian (Philippines)
8. Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, Dir. Park Chan-wook (South Korea)
9. The Wind That Shakes the Barley ,Dir. Ken Loach (UK, Germany, Italy, France, Spain, Ireland)
10. Taking Father Home, by Ying Liang (China)

DIGITAL LOKAL COMPETITION
1. Anino ng Setyembre Dir. Briccio Santos
2. Gamot sa Pagkabagot Dirs. Ato Bautista, Jason Donato and Shugo Praico
3. Manoro Dir. Brillante Mendoza
4. Numbalikdiwa Dir. Roberto Bonifacio
5. Raket ni Nanay Dir. Lawrence Fajardo
6. Squatterpunk Dir. Khavn dela Cruz

DOCUMENTARY FILMS IN COMPETITION
1. The Gift of Barong,Dir. Benito Bautista (USA/Philippines)
2. Hors Le Murs, Dirs. Alexandre Leborge and Pierre Barougier (France)
3. Paper Dolls, Dir. Tomer Heymann (UK)
4. Serambi, Dir. Garin Nugroho (Indonesia)
5. Storm of Emotions Dir. Yael Klopmann (Israel)

SHORT FILMS IN COMPETITION
1. The Ballad of Mimiong's Minon, Dir. Jon Ballesteros
2. One Man Show, Dir. Dohna Sarmiento and Glenn Ituriaga
3. Hopia Express, Dir. Janus Victoria
4. Misteryo ng Hapis, Dir. Mark dela Cruz
5. Embers, Dir. Marc Laureano
6. Sakdal Laya, Dir. Tey Clamor
7. Buog, Dir. Milo Tolentino
8. Grandma's Recipe, Dir. Imelda Betiong

get a grip

2006-10-10T10:44:00.000+08:00

my recent dream has jolted me into the realization that I need to do something about my career~ or lack thereof. Although the dream itself had nothing to do whatsoever with my present job, the situation was somewhat similar ~ about taking a step forward when an opportunity comes. When a chapter closes, another one opens. I'm not saying that I'm rabidly pursuing this promotion thing, but since an opportunity has presented itself, I might as well try. Maybe I was out of focus for awhile, that I have become stagnant in my career and was just content with what and where I am at the moment. But it dawned on me that it wouldn't hurt if I take a step forward and take some risk. After all, I'm not getting any younger. Sooner or later I have to think about my future, and I certainly wouldn't want to hurl myself in the mercy of other people, to depend on them for support~ financial, emotional or otherwise. I always think that a girl should be able to stand on her own two feet without the help of a man. That way, you would be able to handle yourself well and not be this clingy piece of molasses, sickeningly sweet if I may say so. Naturally, I don't wanna pass on any burden to my current beau. I was at the greenbelt 3 mall the other day to watch one of the films from the spanish film festival, and while I was waiting for my sister, I was casually observing the people that litter the mall that time. It struck me that most of them are the executive types, and for the first time in a long time, I felt envious. I started to compare my life with them and came to the conclusion that compared to them, my life sucks and that it's just as exciting as a piece of unwanted broccolli. This made me think that I have put my career on hold for reasons that I could not even begin to think. Somewhere along the way, I think I just lost my drive. I should get back on the right track, right? And you're damn right it's about time. . . Let's see what happens next.

moment of clarity

2006-10-04T12:33:00.000+08:00

certain realizations entered my consciousness recently when I had another dizzying spell for the past two days. I have come to realize that in trying times, one can only rely on oneself. And that waiting for salvation or some sort of a blinding light from the sky would not change anything. People has to go on with their lives, regardless of any tragedy that had befallen them. This realization was brought by the desperation wrought by the recent typhoon. The helplessness that I felt after the calamity was indescribable. It only goes to show that there are forces which are really beyond our control. It also made me think of the dependency of humans on modern gadgets for survival. Take away all of it and man is reduced to a hapless being. So after five looong days of not having the modern amenities that has become part of everyone's life, I have reached the boiling point to which I decided pending matters should be resolved soon. So I turned to the most workable alternatives, and that's how I am living my life at this point. Now let's see how far my plan will go...

the stone age

2006-10-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

i curse the recent typhoon to the high heavens! Up to now, my local area doesn't have electricity yet while nearby places already have their f@#$%&*! electricity. What gives?! I can't simply do anything at home for the past five days! It's like going back to the stone age, fer cryin' out loud! I can't cook anything, even boil water since I'm using an electric stove! I mean, I have loads of stocked food at home but I can't eat them. I had to go out and buy cooked food and it's already costing me a lot. My patience is wearing thin. . . Grrrh!

i felt the earth move

2006-09-28T15:00:00.000+08:00

. . . and so it's signal number 3 in the entire metro manila today for typhoon milenyo. Classes were suspended. Three agents here in the office already have cough and colds, and that includes me. I was late for work this morning due to the foul weather and my sandals broke again since it was drenched in heavy rains. Good thing I brought a spare. So enroute to the office I slipped into a different pair of sandals. Voila! Still, I came to work soaked to the skin! There was a power failure here for like a dozen times and we were all restless. To top it off, I thought I was experiencing another vertigo episode while I was sitting in my workstation since I felt dizzy and my chair was moving. It occured to me that there may be an earthquake happening at that moment, so I turned to my workmate sitting next to me and asked him if he felt it too. Then everybody confirmed that the building itself was swaying! Turned out that it was caused by the heavy winds outside! Can you just imagine that?! It felt like I was in a hammock being put to sleep. Still, it was kinda scary because who knows what will happen. I could hear sirens in the streets way below when the entire building was shaking. I don't even know how I'll be able to go home. I'm crossing my fingers. If only I could change into a costume and be superhero so I can just fly. . . yeah right.

the case of lonelygirl15 solved!

2006-09-16T08:51:00.000+08:00

so I was almost duped by lonelygirl15 on YouTube like many, many others. She's not really the wide-eyed 16-year old girl in her 'personal' videos as she portrayed herself to be. Widely-known as bree in the internet circle, her real name is jessica lee rose and she's 19 years old, born in maryland. I was skeptical about her supposed platonic relationship with 'daniel' , but I was almost convinced. I thought it was a cute story -- being home-schooled with daniel as her only best friend, has a purple toy monkey for a playmate, and discusses her 'religion' in a vague way. Up until recently, I didn't know she exists. I was never aware that her 'videos' had already made a cult following of some sort. So it was all a hoax...

you think your job sucks?

2006-09-10T11:59:00.000+08:00

sure there are a lot of things in our current job that we might be bitchy about. This always happens when we feel that we are stuck in a rut somehow. We always whine about our workload, deadlines, bosses and all. It seems that we are missing out on something and we get envious of other people's achievements that we aspire to become one of them someday or in the near future. But how about those people who are not lucky enough to land their dream job? We might think we are never given the best opportunities out there, but what about them? Here are some examples of what could be considered the WORST JOBS :

1) telemarketers - since I am in the BPO industry, I could very well understand and sympathize with these type of salespersons. It is a thankless job and if you happen to be a telemarketer, you would readily admit that 95% of the entire population hates you ~ for bugging them, calling them endlessly, asking for their personal information, trying your mightiest to patronize whatever products you're trying to sell them. What could be worse than convincing people to buy stuff they would never have any use of anyway?

2) store clerks doing demos - I'm sure you've seen them in the mall with their mock set up-slash-worktable with the numerous kitchen/home gadgets spread out. It's like watching one of those infomercials ~ only you see it live. They show you how to remove stains from clothes, carpet, rugs, etc. They show you simple kitchen recipes done in minutes or kitchen remedies for that matter. They'll teach you how to operate a miniature vacuum cleaner, a sawing machine, a blender, a meat grinder/fruit-slicer, etc. And all this time, you see them doing it all day, saying the same spiel over and over again~ even when there's no one watching at all. And yet there they are, standing in the same spot the entire time, doing their miserable job.

3) promodizers - from my understanding, they're the ones who are stationed at supermarkets, holding a sample of their products, convincing you to try their brand. As mentioned above, they do their work standing all day, dressed in those colorful outfits ~ the same color of their products' packaging, I might add. I have one funny incident involving them recently. I was doing my grocery shopping and these two girls/promodizers from competing brands pounced on one hapless 'victim'. While the customer was talking to the other lady, this girl from the other brand interrupted the conversation rather rudely and proceeded to 'hard sell' the hapless customer. In the end, the customer was swayed to buy the other girl's brand ~ to the detriment of the other lady. Oh she was fuming mad and started lecturing the other girl that she wasn't trained that way~ to steal other people's customer. The other girl was just amused and took it in stride, she got the sale anyway. Talk about competition.

4) security guards - they risk their life and limb for a measly salary, and they're not even properly trained to handle difficult situations like robbery or theft. They merely stand at the entrance of a commercial establishment looking bored, most of the time distracted, and sometimes they merely sleep at their jobs. Their primary function is to open doors to customers entering/exiting the establishment and greet them with 'good morning maam, sir/thank you for coming maam, sir'.

So you see, we have a lot to be thankful for, for not ending up with a job that would surely bore you to tears ~ or will kill you...

the bandwagon effect (the blue pill or the red pill?)

2006-08-13T06:30:00.000+08:00

i don't believe that people should plan their lives according to what the society dictates, nor they should pattern their lives out of others, hoping they would get lucky too. I have news for you people : that's bullcrap. Just because your peers have all gone and are already moving on with their lives doesn't mean you're meant to do the same. Talk about peer pressure. I mean, don't get me wrong, if your friends have started branching out to other stuff, then good for them. It's what they've always wanted to do. But for other people to model themselves out of their peers and trying the same thing just for the heck of it, I think there must be something wrong there. And don't tell me they're just going with the flow. C'mon. I believe no one should take charge of their lives but themselves. You should be the one who would be able to know if it's already time for you to move on or not. You should be able to dictate what happens in your life. Of course what with fate and all, I guess whatever/wherever you end up with would be the result of that. Then again, it was probably because of the choices you made with your life.

My destiny is different from other people. If I choose one path it's because I chose to be on that path and not because someone else have decided for me. If bad things are bound to happen to me, then it's because I made the decision. I should be able to own up to my mistakes, right? If I feel that it's not the right time for me to do any major decisions in my life then I won't probably do it. I usually just trust my instincts. Gut feel. I don't wanna go where everybody else goes, because what if it's not for me in the first place? Then I would probably end up being unhappy. I have observed that most people map out their lives early on, right down to the very last detail as if everything depends on it. Of course, it's not bad to prepare for the rainy days but most of the time, people don't realize that however you plan ahead, surprises are bound to happen. You don't always get what you want in the end. If you were expecting to achieve the same goals you aspired for 20 years ago and don't get it, you just end up being disappointed and/or frustrated. Maybe you thought what you wanted was supposed to happen. Sometimes you realize it wasn't what you wanted after all. Maybe fate has something else for you all along.

Maybe I should try to stop analyzing what I'm supposed to do with my life, and just let fate take over . And now I'm contradicting myself. Who am I kidding anyway?

learning chutzpah

2006-07-17T07:59:00.001+08:00

as much as I hate to admit it, I wasn't a very studious person back in college. I don't read textbooks religiously (not unless it's a really, really interesting subject) and would usually cram for exams. I would only read my notes on the night of the exam or even the day itself, an hour before an exam is scheduled. It's a miracle that I've passed all my subjects. Math subjects were always a bit of a problem for me. It's always been my waterloo. I had to befriend the class geek just so I can be mentored on complicated formulas and the like. But I faired well enough in most of my subjects ~ even spanish. Although I eventually un-learn my spanish after I graduated. I couldn't practice the language simply because there's no one who speaks spanish in my circle. How was I to know that I would be able to use it in my current job? But anyway, I've enjoyed going to school, meeting up with schoolmates after or in-between classes. I've tried to stay away from campus politics ~ unsuccessfully I might add. I was forced by my adviser to run for a noted class position since no one wanted to challenge the other party. I eventually lost simply because my heart wasn't into it in the first place. I didn't have the reese witherspoon competitive complex that time (reese's character from the movie Election). But then again, most of my posse that time were active in campus politics. I even attended their meetings once or twice.

Anyway back to my story, I never considered myself a role model or a perfect student. I was merely trying to finish my education, coping with the day-to-day demands of professors, co-existing peacefully with my classmates ~ and of course just enjoying my carefree student life. Now that I'm finally on my feet, living independently away from family, I have come to realize the importance of learning and knowledge per se. Though it is true that you don't learn everything within the four corners of a classroom. When you graduate, you're on your own. Eventhough mentors provided you with the necessary tools~ and advise for surviving the real world, it's still up to you which direction you want to take. They can only do so much. Acquired knowledge gets you a decent job. Learned skills gets you promoted faster, although not in some cases.

I have come to realize that whatever knowledge you have gained from school will never prepare you for the real thing. The real deal is, other factors affect your advancement, professionally and personally. It dawned on me recently that however I keep myself up-to-date with the rest of the world and however I prepare myself from the onslaught of globalization, never-ending industrialization and creeping consumerism, I always find myself cramming to learn everything~ or at least know a little bit of something. But of course that cannot be done all in one day. Then again the next day, something new has developed and other matters would materialize and has to be learned again. And so the cycle goes on. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with the world that's forever rushing forward. Like I said, nothing will ever prepare you, you always have to keep your head above the water because the world will always evolve . . .

being capt. jack sparrow

2006-07-16T06:59:00.000+08:00

like captain jack sparrow, you don't abandon your ship just because everyone in your crew started jumping ship ~ not even if the flying dutchman is hot on your heels. . .

bracing myself

2006-07-03T07:26:00.000+08:00

so now i'm sporting my new braces and i'm finding it hard to speak and pronounce certain words since the metal brackets gets in the way. I totally feel hesitant to flash a grin or a smile. What's worse, I can't properly eat. I feel like there's a metal grinder shoved in my mouth everytime I try to eat something. My dentist advised me to eat soft foods and mostly liquids at the moment. Hopefully, I would lose weight because of this. . .

playuh

2006-06-26T08:06:00.000+08:00

so my beau just gave me this spanking new mp3 player the other day. I must say that I am quite satisfied with it, given the fact that it was a replacement from the original thing he wanted to give me. I almost threw a fit when he showed me the first one. To say the least, I didn't like it. I know I may sound like a beyotch for being so picky and petty about the whole thing but I thought what he picked that time wasn't practical since I could only download a few songs. It wasn't even user-friendly to say the least. Sure it has an FM radio, a voice recorder and such but I figured it wasn't all worth it. I didn't get the value for what it's worth. So I refused to take it. But the other day, he returned the damn useless mp3 to the seller and replaced it with a new one, a better one. And I'm happy with it. I must admit though that I am not a gadget freak. So I am not really updated when it comes to the latest gadgets or gizmos. I'd be totally lost without a manual, he he he. I haven't really mastered the operations of my new mp3 player but it's not rocket science either, so... And just so you know, I am not a high-maintenance girlfriend so I value what my boyfriend gave me.

just another episode

2006-06-20T06:15:00.000+08:00

I almost came in late for work today. Do you ever have that feeling that the forces of nature seem to be against you? Well, I just experienced it today. It seemed like everything was going wrong. The driver of the tricycle I was in got into a fight with another driver just as I was nearing my destination. Then the jeepney I happened to ride was sooo damn slow, stopping at every corner to get passengers. Then I had to take a long walk to the bus stop since the jeep didn't go to the usual route this morning. And of course, I couldn't get a bus ride along edsa as always. I was tempted to hail a taxi already when lo and behold, an ayala bus came in sight! It was almost full but I took my chances and got on the bus. And when I got to the office, all the seats were taken! Of all the... I had to wait for some people to log out before I can get a damn seat. To top it off, my office tools have gone bonkers. I couldn't seem to log into the system. I have to wait for some directive from the NY office! Just another reason why I don't like tuesdays. . . sigh!

My Topmost Pet Peeves :

2006-06-18T08:21:00.000+08:00

1) When you're walking at a public place (street, mall, etc) and the person walking in front of you is sooo damn slow

2) When people stop to say hello to one another in the middle of the street (or mall) thus blocking your way

3) When store clerks follow you around when you're just window shopping

4) When store clerks follow you around suspiciously as if you're going to steal something

5) When store clerks go bonkers when you're just looking around the shop and don't buy something

6) When your nosy neighbor curiously looks at your grocery bag as you pass them to see what you've bought

7) When your neighbor decides for a videoke night wailing like a banshee till 4 o'clock in the morning thus preventing you from getting a good night's sleep

8) When strangers ask you personal questions (i.e how much you're earning from your current job, etc)

9) When you ride a bus/jeepney/FX and the person sitting next to you has a foul odor/didn't take a bath/is sweating profusely/farts

10) When people don't respect your personal space, figuratively and literally

11) When people stare at you from head to toe

12) When people eavesdrop and interrupts you in the middle of a conversation with another person

13) When bus/jeepney drivers don't know how to park properly along edsa or any other street for that matter

14) When taxi drivers ask for more than what's on the meter

15) When men don't give way to women/children at a public place

16) When store clerks ignore you just when you need to ask them something even though they are aware of your presence (the irony of it all!)

17) When people impose their views/beliefs on you

my song of the moment

2006-05-28T13:47:00.000+08:00

Someday
by nickelback

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong
just as long as you
know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright
but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright
but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well i hoped that
since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending
that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright
but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright
but not right now
I know you're
wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

[Solo]

How the hell did we
wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs
that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's
played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright
but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright
but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when

hooked on you

2006-05-16T12:23:00.000+08:00

I must confess that you got me hooked. When I discovered your existence, I have been addicted ever since. Like a moth to a flame, you got me mesmerized, hanging on every scene that unfolds before my very eyes. I could not believe that I have waited this long to appreciate another tv series! Lest you mistake this entry on a different topic, let me clarify that I am merely referring to the hottest tv show of the moment, Lost. Seriously, I find myself in tenterhooks whenever I watch this show. I savor every episode. It's my favorite show at the moment. Gawd! I can't wait for the next episode! I even surfed the website for advance reading of future episodes. I know it's a spoiler but I've only cheated for like, a few advance episodes. The best part of this show is the gorgeous hunks! I mean, cute guys in one show?! C'mon, you gotta be kidding me! I am loving it!
Reminder to self : Must get that book, The Bad Twin which is written by a fictional character based from the series...

i dream of lindsay

2006-05-16T10:35:00.000+08:00

I had a brief taste of fame the other night when I dreamt that I was friends with paparazzi-magnet lindsay lohan. So what's it like to be lindsay's friend? It wasn't really grand. If you're the type to party, divulge secrets and pull pranks, then that's what it is. But it was fun to be part of a hollywood crowd even for just a nonasecond. It was kinda cool, reminiscent of alicia silverstone's Clueless days ~ sans the blonde locks. At least, it was better than being friends with the dumb bimbo jessica simpson... ugh!

melt with you

2006-05-08T09:52:00.000+08:00

i could list a lot of things to be bitchy about these days, things that are mostly irrelevant and condescending. But mostly, I am pissed about the humid weather. Yesterday was no exception. I left the office early in the afternoon and the sun was beating down on me. It was punishing, I tell you! So I went to my usual route after work ~ meaning, I had to pass glorietta. Since it was a sunday, the mall was packed. Every conceivable human types were all there basking in the coolness of the airconditioned mall. Mind you, there wasn't any sale going on whatsoever. But the mere fact that MI:3 has just opened that means the cinemas were jampacked as well for this big budget movie.

I was able to watch the movie already, and since I am aware of the fact that it was directed by JJ Abrams (creator of tv series Alias and Lost), I somehow recognized some familiarity in the execution of some scenes. At some point in the movie, the background music was awfully familiar-sounding. To summarize, it made me feel like I was watching a great episode of Alias on the big screen. In fact, some cast members from the said series was on the movie as extras. What do you expect, even one of the female cast was an alumni of Felicity, another series from JJ Abrams.

So anyway, back to my original story, I was bumping into a lot of people at the mall yesterday. Turned out there was also a sort of story-telling session for kids in the activity area. lots of kids were loitering around chasing one another, and that made me irritable as well since it hampers my progress to get home in the shortest possible time. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against kids per se but thrusting them into the arena of adults is kinda annoying. I mean, kids should be playing in parks, gardens or picnic groves ~ not in the middle of the mall where accidents are bound to happen. Of course, it would be nearly impossible since this country lacks parks or lush recreational areas where kids can just run around all day in the vast greenery. Besides, majority of this country's population seems to treat mall-hopping/mall-lounging as a past-time activity. I can't really blame all these people, they had nowhere else to go.

Some girls my age already have kids of their own, but I don't feel my maternal instincts kicking in yet. I don't feel inclined to get married or get pregnant at the moment. I'm not really one of those women who gush whenever they see a baby. Sure, they're cute and cuddly, but that's all there is to it. I am not overwhelmed with emotions when I see one. To me, they're just kids : playful at times, annoying when they're kicking and screaming. My throat was so dry from the heat when I got home ~ merely surviving the maddening crowd at the mall.

burn baby burn

2006-05-06T12:29:00.000+08:00

summer is not my favorite time of the year. The idea of staying under the scorching sun even for a fraction of a minute is not exactly sexy-- especially to your exposed skin. Hitting the beach? Forget it! Too crowded already, no matter where you go. Personally, I would like to go to the beach during off-season, when it's almost deserted. I want the ocean all to myself-- not that I have excellent swimming skills to boast of, but you know, you don't have to deal with people peeing in the water. Gross, I know. The hot weather also makes me irritable, like you wanna pick a fight with anyone. I could become a mean beyotch for no reason.

spring in june

2006-04-10T15:52:00.000+08:00

here's something to look forward to :

The French Film Festival on June 8 to 18 will be shown at the Shangri-la Plaza Mall as part of the French Spring in Manila 2006. Also, there will be a staging of the play 'Waiting for Godot' by Dublin-born writer Samuel Becket. It would be staged in Tagalog and will be collaborated by French director Alain Timar with four Filipino actors. Hmm, I remember this play in college when we were required to read it. It would be nice to get re-acquainted with the play. 'Waiting for Godot' will be shown at the CCP Little Theater on June 23 (8 p.m.), June 24 (3 and 8 p.m.), and June 25 (3 p.m.). Lest I forget, there is an exhibit of works by French fashion designer Christian Lacroix at the Ayala Museum which opened last April 1. I hear the collection was very impressive... and of course, the all-night street party Fête de la Musique on June 18 will be held at El Pueblo, Ortigas Center, 4 PM onwards...

song from the broadway musical, Rent

2006-04-10T15:29:00.000+08:00

many thanks to jayna for the lyrics...

Seasons of Love

Company :

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand

Six Hundred Minutes

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand

Moments So Dear

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand

Six Hundred Minutes

How Do you Measure - Measure A Year?

In Daylights - In Sunsets

In Midnights - In Cups Of Coffee

In Inches - In Miles

In Laughter - In Strife

In... Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand

Six Hundred Minutes

How Do You Measure

A Year In The Life

How About Love ?

Measure In Love

Seasons Of Love,

Seasons Of Love...

Soloist # 1 :

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand

Six Hundred Minutes

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand

Journeys To Plan

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand

Six Hundred Minutes

How Do You Measure The Life

Of A Women Or A Man ?

Soloist # 2 :

In Truths That She Learned
Or In in Times That He Cried

In Bridges He Burned

Or The Way That She Died

All :

It's Time Now to Sing out

Tho` The Story Never Ends

Let's Celebrate

Remember A Year

In The Life of Friends

Remember The Love

Measure In Love

Soloist # 1 :

Measure, Measure Your Life In Love

Seasons Of Love. . .

viva la boheme

2006-03-31T16:57:00.000+08:00

For anyone out there who loves the 'theatuh', don't fail to watch the movie version of Rent, the musical. It's only being shown this week in two cinemas, Glorietta 4 and Greenbelt 3. 'Love all the songs... it's definitely worth watching... and worth every penny. I might consider buying the original soundtrack...

Which LOST character are you?

2006-03-14T16:10:00.000+08:00

i relate to hurley? how the hell did that happen?!

Hurley

You scored 46% kindness, 34% courage, 31% seedy past, and 51% secretiveness!

"For the record, my belt HAS dropped a notch. I'm a big guy. It's gonna be a while before you're going to want to give me a piggy back ride."

Dude, you are Hurley. You are a kind soul with some terrible luck. While you're always lending a helping hand, you're not exactly the bravest guy on the island. What you do is even more important - keep people entertained. The only problem you've got is that whole jinxed numbers thing. You're so secretive, no one on the island even knows that you're a multimillionaire! Let it out, dude. There's no use trying to keep it all bottled up inside, man.

Your polar opposite is: Jin. You are similar to: Claire and Sun.

this little missy went to the dentist

2006-02-17T09:49:00.000+08:00

one hot day, during my time off, I went to the dentist for an appointment. I was a bit early so the lady dentist was still attending to another patient. Naturally I have to wait for my turn. I was casually leafing through a copy of cosmo magazine when I heard the dull whirring sound of the dentist's equipment, you know that thing they put inside your mouth. It wasn't a pleasant sound. It sounded like she was actually drilling hard! I almost winced as if I was the one on the dentist's chair at that moment. I just wish I won't walk out of that clinic all bruised and swelling, you know. I hoped she wouldn't be that clumsy or hard on her patients. Well, I didn't hear any loud screams from the other patient so I thought I was safe. Surprisingly, when it was my turn, the dentist's hands were actually gentle. So I was in capable hands and I was able to relax. I just kept thinking she wouldn't make a mistake since she kept on yapping while she was doing prophylaxis on me. I always dislike going to the dentist. It's like submitting yourself to some kind of a barbaric torture, especially if the dentist is a caffeine addict & doesn't have steady hands. I usually put off making a dentist appointment. Well, the trip to the dentist almost always ends well for me~ unless the dentist told you some bad news. As for me, I have clean pearly whites now, and a clean fresh breath, it's almost a sin to eat something...

book of revelations

2006-01-27T12:52:00.000+08:00

some revelations have occured to me today :

1) it's still money that makes the world go round~ after all, we're still living in a material world (go ask Madonna);

2) the philippine diaspora is continuously growing ~ year after year after year... (you get the point);

3) politics is still the name of the game ~ and it will never change;

4) politicians will forever be greedy with power & money;

5) I have lost all enthusiasm about life in general (dunno how it happened);

6) I have mellowed in some ways (uh...);

7) I can describe my social life in one word : zilch;

8) I missed spending time with my closest friends;

9) I missed going out on a shopping spree;

10) I am full of ideas, but they are just that ~ ideas;

11) I still don't care what other people think;

12) I have become a lot more jaded, moreso about other people's perception of happiness (what I'd like to call 'kababawan');

13) people can be sooo naive about a lot of things;

14) people just don't know where to draw the line;

15) the world hasn't stopped turning just because you're not having the time of your life...

the supermarket

2006-01-16T03:48:00.000+08:00

funny how you meet people in strange places... a few weeks ago I was checking some items in the grocery store when I suddenly spotted a guy a few aisles away. I recognised his profile even from afar and so I quickly grabbed my pushcart and turned away before he could see me. That guy happened to be someone I dumped before when he tried to court me, and so it would be awkward for me to see him again, and at such a public place.

Then about two days ago I went to the same supermarket to do my usual grocery shopping when someone actually said a timid hello right next to me. Before I knew it I was staring at the face of my ex-boss' wife. Well it was a pleasant surprise but I didn't want my ex-boss (any ex-boss, for that matter) to catch me doing any domestic stuff. First of all, I didn't know she does her grocery there also in makati though they live in alabang. On the brighter side of things, I was in decent clothes when I ran into her and I didn't look 'losyang' so I guess it was okay. We had a small chit-chat & thank god her husband's not with her so I didn't have to deal with his not-so-subtle questions about my present job or why I didn't show up on his last birthday party. Nevertheless, I ended the conversation swiftly. I had to report to work right after, that's why. Besides, there were a lot of people in the supermarket that time. It wasn't an ideal place to converse properly anyway. Well, things could've been worse...

men are such simple creatures...

2006-01-13T01:42:00.000+08:00

I was having my lunchbreak earlier in the office pantry next to two guys enjoying their pizza. I couldn't help overhearing snippets of their conversation since they were seating close to me. Apparently, they were raving about movies that they love. I was expecting them to mention maybe a stanley kubrick film or the latest movie of woody allen, but no. They were talking about 'The Longest Yard' & 'The Dukes of Hazzard' fer crying out loud! And these are men in their mid-twenties! They were even quoting lines from those movies! Unbelievable! Somewhere along the conversation, they started narrating all those old movies they love : 'The Mighty Ducks', 'Cannonball Run', etc ... Astig pre!

slumber bummer

2006-01-07T22:01:00.000+08:00

i slept badly today. My neighbor's toddler was sort of running & jumping around outside my window screaming at the top of his lungs trying to get my attention just so he can tell me that I should be awake in the daytime and not asleep. Kids. What do they know about call center jobs? Then there's that episode with my boyfriend who was checking up on me while he's boarding the plane for another one of his numerous business trips. Such a workaholic. He travels so frequently that philippine airlines already awarded him as an elite member of their frequent flyer miles program. But I'm digressing... anyway, I'm at work now and miraculously, I don't feel drowsy at all. 'Must be an overload of that frappucino I had earlier this evening. But the night is still young, so who knows? I'm usually cranky when I don't get enough sleep ~ or my sleep is rudely interrupted. So even a soft beep on my mobile rouses me from my oblivion, and so I unceremoniously lashed out at my boyfriend this morning for the sudden interruption. My words must've stung since he never texted me nor called me the whole day. Poor guy! I didn't mean to be such a bitch. I'll make it up to him when he gets back...

new year state of mind

2006-01-02T21:46:00.000+08:00

i spent my new year in baguio just so i can avoid the noise of firecrackers on new year's eve in the city. And I wanted to feel the coldness of baguio during the busy month of december since I've never been to this city of pines on a holiday season before. I stayed there for barely 2 days and most of the time I just slept in my hotel room. It was a mixture of fatigue and a lingering case of vertigo that made me stay in bed most of the time. Besides, it was too cold to do anything else. Me and my companion just strolled along session road then had dinner. Afterwhich we had a steaming cup of hot choco from the nearby cafe located inside the mall. It was just unfortunate that I had to return back to the city soon afterwards. Well at least, when I got back, the noise barrage was over, whew! My mother came over for christmas and I was just glad to see her again after such a long time. I don't get to come home as often as I want to...

2005-12-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

been having insomniac days lately, feel like a walking zombie these days. Work is getting stressful this month due to the volume... have not been able to think straight, nothing else to say. . . signing out

*yawn

2005-12-11T22:36:00.000+08:00

wake me up when this whole thing blows over. . .

2005-11-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

The Sound of One Heart Breaking

by: Karen Kunawicz

What is the sound of a heart breaking?

It is the sound of someone curled up in a

tiny ball crying softly in the night,

the sound of the first unwanted teardrop

touching your skin, it's the sound of

a telephone that doesn't ring,

the sound of regret

pounding inside your brain

with every heartbeat,

it's the whispers

of the toy animals he gave you.

It's the shuffling of feet

walking away from you,

the sound of your soul shattering

into a million pieces

at recognizing the word "goodbye,"

it’s the soundtrack of memories

torturing you, it's the sound of

feeble hands trying to push back

the obstinate hands of time,

it's the sound of a cherub's

dying breath, the sound of

all those years disappearing

in the vortex of Cupid's kitchen sink,

it's the unrelenting plaintive

baby meows of an abandoned kitten

outside an ignoring door.

It's the sound of the rain

that doesn't ever stop,

the sound of all the doors

shutting and closing in your face

at the same time, of raging,

howling storms in the night

when there's no one there to hold you,

the sound of your voice

as it screams back at you,

the echo of "I love yous"

burning holes in you,

the sound your heart makes

as it tells you to lie still

because nothing you will ever do

will matter without love.

The sound of the waves

of the polluted beach you went to

as it moves from the shore

and crashes inside your mind,

of the sniffles that make up your pathetic

"SOS-to-the-world," the cracking of the

brittle black-red petals

from the sidewalk vendor

roses he gave, the sound of the music

he used to make going to your gut.

The sound of things in your room

being thrown around

and landing on the floor,

the caress of kitchen knives on skin,

the sound your throat makes

as you swallow your saltiest tear.

It's the sound of your own voice

calling out to someone who isn't there,

of dying birds getting splattered

on a city pavement, of terms of endearment

used a hundred times a day

struggling to crawl into a

vacuum of forgetfulness,

it's the sound of your own sobs

keeping you company,

it's the cold, uncaring stillness of the air

you share your space with.

Destruction isn't always as noisy

as bombs exploding.

Sometimes the ultimate catastrophes

are as quiet as a feather

falling on the floor of a Zen monastery.

No one else can really hear

your heart breaking except you.

wide awake

2005-11-17T16:05:00.000+08:00

I am suffering from insomnia for two consecutive days now. I would go to bed at my usual hour, 11pm and then just lie there, waiting for the sandman to do his trick. Then nothing. My mind refused to shut down. I would toss and turn listlessly. Jumbled thoughts would still swirl around in my head. In one corner of my alert mind, music would suddenly invade my consciousness. Sometimes an idea would come to mind, only to be shifted to another train of thought, and so it would go on for hours. By 3am, I'm already singing in my head, triggered by my last song syndrome. I mean, I could try drinking a glass of hot milk to help me relax and get to sleep but nights are (un)usually hot this time of year. By 5am, i would decide to get up and have an early breakfast (hot pandesal + hot choco). I would find myself drowsy and yawning around 7:30am, then that's the only time I could finally fall asleep. Then again, I won't still have a fitful sleep because the whole neighborhood is waking up already. The noise of the day would filter through my mind again, added to that is the never-ending sound of airplanes taking off in the distance, and that usually happens every hour of the day. It only gets quiet by 9pm. By then, the nearby airport would be closed already. The alarm would go off at 11:30am so I have to get up and prepare for lunch, afterwhich I would take off for work. This morning, around 10am, I woke up with a start and almost panicked. The reason? I could hear the strains of an old song wafting through the neighbor's window. I actually asked myself if it was the 1940s since I was hearing an old song, if I was suddenly transported back to that bygone era. Then it hit me, the neighbor was watching an old disney cartoon. That was a relief! For a moment there I thought I was living in Nazi Germany. I didn't have anything for lunch earlier. I feel like I'm still in a trance, currently caught between the dreamworld and my waking life. Naturally, I have to force myself to stay awake the whole time in the office. Maybe I had a bad case of too much caffeine (or toxic?) in my system ~ i really don't know. . .

batteries not included

2005-11-06T21:29:00.000+08:00

i have absolutely nothing significant or relevant to write since my life had been uneventful as of late. I mean, I kept waiting for something major to happen to me or even to witness a particularly interesting event/incident which would merit an entry in this blog. One would think my mind has finally gone bonkers. Maybe that is the case. That or I have nothing else to say really-- unless you want me talk nonsense like noticing for the first time while typing this entry that I haven't gotten to clipping my nails lately. Or my plan to visit the salon and have my hair done and perhaps get a facial or something, or my procrastination to set an appointment with the dentist (which reminds me, I need to get it done already). The only preoccupation I have that I could think of is when am I gonna get the next pay. Other than that, nothing as in nada. Kaput. I guess I can say that my life is kinda smooth-sailing right now ~ no turbulence to disrupt me, no earth-shattering discoveries that would wake me up from my drunken stupor-- I mean, present state of mind, no brilliant ideas, no experiments and certainly no 'prophetic' blabberings. You might wonder, perhaps this girl's mind is full of cobwebs (full of shit?) ~ or it's just rusty. Nevertheless, no one would be able to pick my brains and do mind games with me. I hate mind games anyway. Life is full of riddles already, I'd be happy to steer clear of them. Wouldn't you agree? (tie down!)

and the world makes sense again...

2005-11-02T17:59:00.000+08:00

. . . thanks to jessica zafra's blog (see link below, left corner among other links), blogging will never be the same again. I have been an admirer of this guru of irony for as long as I could remember. Finally, I could have my usual dose of insanity!

night falls

2005-10-31T19:38:00.000+08:00

it's always nice to step out of the office for awhile when you're working at night, especially at this hour and at this time of year. The air for once is cool, the ambiance so laid back, and you just feel a sense of nostalgia. Since tonight is practically all saint's day eve, the streets of makati are almost deserted. No rush hour traffic, no noise barrage from vehicles and no maddening crowd. I just wish it'll be like this the rest of the year. I am almost tempted to take a walk along the stretch of ayala avenue. From point A to point B, and back. Wishful thinking. SIGH! Then again, I am now back in my workstation sipping a cup of green tea. It's not raining outside, thank god! It was humid all throughout the day.

I wish I could find a nook right now and just enjoy the sights and sounds of makati (well-lited streets and skyscrapers), and allow my mind to wander. I can't exactly say enjoy the vast open space simply because there aren't ~ not in this side of the metropolis anyway. Makati (ayala avenue, mostly) used to be emblazoned with lights during the holidays. But now they keep it to the minimum. Trying times for the economy.

Some nights ago I happened to look up at the sky and saw the moon and a sprinkle of stars. It put a smile on my face. It's funny because when I looked up at the star-filled sky, I thought the stars looked like pimples on the face of the night sky, and the waxing moon looked more like a slice of lemon. And why would I associate pimples with the stars, you might ask? I don't know! It was the first thing that came to mind, I swear. If the stars scattered in the sky that time didn't seem to look like pimples, then I thought they looked like dandruffs ~ tiny white particles on a dark backdrop. Ha Ha Ha. Me and my twisted mind again. Seriously, a star-filled sky? You don't get to see that everyday ~ not if you live in the city.

any given sunday

2005-10-30T18:39:00.000+08:00

one lazy sunday. Fewer people are at work today, it's so quiet and the only sound you can hear is the humming sound of the airconditioning, which means it's freakin' cold in here. Been sitting here in my station beside another colleague and it's just the two of us for now ~ at least till 10pm when another colleague comes in. Today marks the first day of work for me with the new shift. It has been a long time since I was in this odd sched so I left early for work to avoid any mishaps. You never know. It rained just when I stepped out of the house. Great. Even the weather is not cooperating. Yesterday I was so bored at home and I couldn't wait till I go to work today. But now I feel ~ I dunno, not up to it I guess. Lousy for sure. This new sched will wreak havoc again in my sleeping habits. SIGH!

take heart

2005-10-26T13:34:00.000+08:00

of course no one would expect me to explain the inner workings of my twisted mind, perhaps for fear of a terrible tongue-lashing from me or they are simply not interested whatsoever. Either way, I wouldn't mind since I cannot possibly explain the phenomenon myself. Recently, the ramblings have screeched to a halt for no apparent reason. System failure eh? Perhaps any cohesive thought was lost in the labyrinth of my mind. Somebody must've barricaded it with high walls as thick and as dangerous as the berlin wall. Naturally, one would never attempt any means of escape and/or entry and thus jeopardize themselves. Too much trouble, they might say. Might as well forget about the whole thing. But I'm talking rubbish here. Then again, all is not lost. Hope springs eternal, so they say. Who knows, one permeable thought would run amok in the deep recesses of my dark mind and threaten to spill over. Maybe I'll hijack a plane or something. Ooops. Can't make jokes about that, sensitive global security issue. Maybe I'll just jump off the plane when this political limbo end and to hell with it. Or I could do a miriam and tell everybody I lied (with matching demonic laughter shooting thru outer space). The conundrum of having a spatial mind surely gives you an empty feeling. Or a dry spell~ that feeling when you're out in the sun all day and you're parched to death but no liquid nourishment in sight? That feeling. You see, my brain has a mind of its own. It goes to unchartered territory when I specifically order it not to, and just focus on things onhand. What can I say, it just tends to wander. Typical. At times my mind harbors ridiculous thoughts one should be warned not to delve into it too much. One could be trapped, or one could become loco. So i think it is best to just take things lightly, just a nip in the bud. Hmm, I'm not making any sense at all. So now what?

doubting damsel

2005-10-26T06:59:00.000+08:00

i don't know if I'm heading for a major crashdown...

the skunk

2005-10-22T07:14:00.000+08:00

you know, you should do something about it once and for all. It's killing me! Seriously, I'd hate to be your girlfriend!

there is no business like...

2005-10-21T13:12:00.000+08:00

you gotta be kidding me! jennifer aniston hooking up with vince vaughn?! tsk, tsk! Ridiculous, if you ask me. From brad pitt to vince vaughn is like downgrading your Nokia N90 to Nokia 8250. C'mon jen, you can do better than that!

the other side of love & other stories

2005-10-20T12:10:00.000+08:00

i just found out that my current beau has a thing for jennifer love hewitt. I kept teasing him when I learned about it and he would just give me this sheepish grin. No wonder he wasn't complaining when I dragged him to the movie theater to watch her recent films. Not that the movies were any good. I don't know why jennifer love makes those kind of boring movies. You can just see her usual dorky enthusiasm in those movies with thin plots. She used to be popular, now I wonder what happened to her career.

I just finished reading mario puzo's The Godfather (I only saw part 3 of the film version) and I can see why a lot of people are crazy about the story. It's brilliant. Loved it. Before that I was reading truman capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's. I have watched the film version a dozen times, I just wanted to relive the story. It's my favorite classic movie. I just love audrey hepburn!

I only saw 2 films in the recently concluded spanish film festival which is a pity because the line up was so good. Blame it on my schedule, plus other distractions. I remember I used to go to these international filmfests almost yearly. Sometimes with my sister, most of the time with friends who share the same passion for foreign films (and I don't mean hollywood). We usually have discussions afterwards on the films we previewed. Unfortunately, I lost contact with these friends.

I love watching foreign films, never mind that you have to read the subtitles. You get used to it. French films I love the most. The french create films out of a simple plot yet make it so interesting. Cinemanila international filmfest is still ongoing until the 25th of this month. FYI.

the break up song

2005-10-15T08:40:00.000+08:00

i consider this as the best break up song in my book (see below), not because of the lyrics (that depends on the nature of the break up) but because I just love the melody. It's edgy yet full of anguish and misery. When most people would probably opt to play sentimental songs/sob songs when they break up with their beaus, I would prefer this one. Play this non-stop all day and you just might feel good eventually. My other option would be U2's All I Want Is You. While you're playing this record, pretend you're winona ryder having a spat with ethan hawke ala reality bites. Coolness!

Mr. Brightside

The Killers

I'm coming out of my cage

And I've been doing just fine

Gotta gotta be down

Because I want it all

It started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this

It was only a kiss,

it was only a kiss

Now I'm falling asleep

And she's calling a cab

While he's having a smoke

And she's taking a drag

Now they're going to bed

And my stomach is sick

And it's all in my head

But she's touching his chest

Now, he takes off her dress

Now, letting me go

And I just can't look its killing me

And taking control

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

Swimming through sick lullabies

Choking on your alibis

But it's just the price I pay

Destiny is calling me

Open up my eager eyes

'Cause I'm Mr Brightside

I'm coming out of my cage

And I've been doing just fine

Gotta gotta be down

Because I want it all

It started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

Now I'm falling asleep

And she's calling a cab

While he's having a smoke

And she's taking a drag

Now they're going to bed

And my stomach is sick

And it's all in my head

But she's touching his chest

Now, he takes off her dress

Now, letting me go

Cause I just can't look its killing me

And taking control

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

Swimming through sick lullabies

Choking on your alibis

But it's just the price I pay

Destiny is calling me

Open up my eager eyes

'Cause I'm Mr Brightside

2005-10-06T12:11:00.000+08:00

" Never love a wild thing. You can't give your heart to a wild thing: the more you do, the stronger they get. Until they're strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree, then a taller tree. Then the sky. That's how you'll end up if you let yourself love a wild thing. You'll end up looking at the sky. . . "

-- Holly Golightly

Breakfast At Tiffany's

all nonsense

2005-09-28T10:14:00.000+08:00

i really don't understand the concept behind Pinoy Big Brother... I tried watching the show one lazy day and I just got bored to tears. Five minutes into the show and I was like, 'Okay so what's the big deal?' The show is a total bore! Sorry if I offend the sensibilities of PBB fans. I don't find it fascinating at all to see these young fine creatures going around the house doing domestic stuff. I could find other productive things to do or watch a more interesting show. Watching PBB is like, 'nakiki-usyoso sa kapitbahay' which is really not my thing in the first place. I might as well spy on my neighbors if that is the case. Sure, the show's contestants are good-looking but that's about spells the difference. The show is all hype and publicity, no substance. Once again, this only proves the never-ending fascination of pinoys on other people who don't seem to know how to mind their own business. To quote a line from a classic movie, 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!'

PELÍCULA (4th Spanish Film Festival )

2005-09-27T08:05:00.000+08:00

Greenbelt 1, Cinema 1 & Cinema 2

Schedule:

Sep 29 Thursday

Días contados
La flaqueza del bolchevique
El bola
Noviembre
Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Barrio

Sep 30 Friday

Crimen ferpecto
Intacto
Los lunes al sol
El juego de la verdad
Todo sobre mi madre
Héctor

Oct 1 Saturday

Barrio
La buena estrella
El juego de la verdad
Crimen ferpecto
Planta 4ª
Tesis
Astronautas

Oct 2 Sunday

El bosque animado
Los lunes al sol
Héctor
Torremolinos 73
El abrazo partido
El bola
Noviembre

Oct 3 Monday

Soldados de Salamina
Barrio
Días contados
Astronautas
Los lunes al sol
Intacto

Oct 4 Tuesday

Días contados
La flaqueza del bolchevique
La buena estrella
El juego de la verdad
Crimen ferpecto
Planta 4ª

Oct 5 Wednesday

Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Noviembre
Todo sobre mi madre
Te doy mis ojos
Soldados de Salamina
Extranjeras

Oct 6 Thursday

Torremolinos 73
Barrio
Tesis
La ley de Herodes
Te doy mis ojos
La flaqueza del bolchevique

Oct 7 Friday

La buena estrella
Tesis
El bola
Abre los ojos
Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Mar adentro

Oct 8 Saturday

El bosque animado
Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Planta 4ª
Todo sobre mi madre
El juego de la verdad
Torremolinos 73
La ley de Herodes

Oct 9 Sunday

Intacto
Tesis
Mar adentro
Te doy mis ojos
Astronautas
Crimen ferpecto
Héctor

Oct 10 Monday

La buena estrella
El abrazo partido
Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Subterra
Soldados de Salamina
Abre los ojos

Oct 11 Tuesday

Los lunes al sol
Extranjeras
Tesis
Planta 4ª
Días contados
La flaqueza del bolchevique

Oct 12 Wednesday

El bola
La ley de Herodes
Crimen ferpecto
Noviembre
Te doy mis ojos
El abrazo partido

Oct 13 Thursday

Soldados de Salamina
Subterra
Torremolinos 73
Intacto
Todo sobre mi madre
Abre los ojos

Oct 14 Friday

Días contados
Astronautas
Los lunes al sol
El juego de la verdad
Te doy mis ojos
La ley de Herodes

Oct 15 Saturday

Subterra
El bola
Noviembre
Te doy mis ojos
Planta 4ª
Torremolinos 73
Mar adentro

Oct 16 Sunday

El bosque animado
Todo sobre mi madre
Héctor
Soldados de Salamina

Audience Choice

La buena estrella
El juego de la verdad

cine europa @ the shang

2005-09-24T08:40:00.000+08:00

Schedule :

23 SEP (Friday)
1 PM Step by Step
4 PM Villa des Roses
7 PM Buttoners
10 PM Dog Nail Clipper

24 SEP (Saturday)
1 PM The Spanish Apartment
4 PM Kroko
7 PM I Love to Love
10 PM A Man Not Wanted

25 SEP (Sunday)
1 PM Twinni
4 PM Millions
7 PM Extranjeras
10 PM Faithless

26 SEP (Monday)
4 PM Twinni
7 PM Step by Step
10 PM Villa des Roses

27 SEP (Tuesday)
4 PM Buttoners
7 PM Dog Nail Clipper
10 PM The Spanish Apartment

28 SEP (Wednesday)
4 PM A Man Not Wanted
7 PM Dying to Go Home
10 PM Kroko

29 SEP (Thursday)
1 PM I Love to Love
4 PM Faithless
7 PM A Man Not Wanted
10 PM Extranjeras

30 SEP (Friday)
1 PM Villa des Roses
4 PM Step by Step
7 PM The Spanish Apartment

01 OCT (Saturday)
1 PM Extranjeras
4 PM Dying to Go Home
7 PM Kroko
10 PM I Love to Love

02 OCT (Sunday)
1 PM Millions
4 PM Dog Nail Clipper
7 PM Faithless
10 PM Dying to Go Home

rock on!

2005-09-23T08:27:00.000+08:00

Mig Ayesa should've won the Rockstar:INXS gig. I know I am being biased. But he was that close to winning... Too bad! =(

girl in the city

2005-09-21T13:24:00.000+08:00

i always believe that a girl should be capable of living on her own at one point in her life. Going solo has its own rewards after all. For the most part, one can readily admit that the first few months (even years) of independence are the hardest. Coping with a lot of things such as loneliness and depression could prove to be difficult at first. Most especially when it comes to handling finances. Naturally, since one only has herself to rely on, one is forced to overcome obstacles/difficulties. Thus, a girl could learn to look for an apartment on her own, navigate the streets, run some errands, ask for directions without looking so utterly perplexed or clueless, do groceries and even find the best buys around the metropolis.

I have done that myself. After exiting the confines of my alma mater, I insisted on living on my own and bid for my independence. I have experienced scouting for the cheapest place to live during the first year, most of the time ending up compromising other considerations such as privacy, accessibility and of course, security. I have learned to clean up my place once I moved in, arrange things in their proper order and make myself dinner (merely opening a can of tuna will do). Money matters gave me a major headache when I was still starting out in the city. And since asking relatives for financial support was out of the question, I had to make do with what little money I have. Once I've experienced stretching my salary to the extent that my dinner consisted of one order of a personal-sized pizza from greenwich shared with another cash-strapped college classmate just so I can make ends meet. There were times when I just felt helpless. There were times as well when I felt lost and disoriented and not sure of myself.

Oh yes, I have also experienced having butterflies on my stomach during the first few weeks on my first job. I couldn't understand why I had moments of panic, one of those feelings that makes you wanna bolt out the door. And yet in all of these adjustments and trials I have encountered, there's only one thing I have noticed. I have never in my entire life replaced a single light bulb in the many places that I moved into. It has always been ready and brand new everytime I move to a new place. Otherwise, the landlord's househelp would just replace them. I know, replacing a light bulb could probably the easiest thing a girl can do around the house if she's living alone. I would love to try that sometimes. Plumbing is a major problem too. Usually, if I couldn't do anything about repairs, then tough luck! I just leave it be. I have to admit I'm a bit clueless when it comes to home repairs. And please don't give me all that crap about me being a 'girl' for not being an expert on troubleshooting the house. Anyways, a girl can just learn to do it if she really wants to. One can just buy one of those books for dummies, you know.

I once saw this survival book from humor post a couple of years ago. Everything's in that book, whether if you're a city girl or a country girl or a traveller/jetsetter. You could easily find solutions or answers from the most difficult to the downright silly stuff if in case you found yourself in that particular situation. I should've bought that book when I saw it. The only thing that stopped me then was the availability of moolah. I happened to be broke when I chanced upon the book. I bought a different survival book a couple of months back but it wasn't that complete. These days, I still try to resolve matters the way I know how, sometimes I get help from friends. As far as I know, I'm still a work in progress when it comes to troubleshooting my life.

hollywood dream

2005-09-13T09:31:00.000+08:00

i had a funny dream last night. I found myself in the middle of a grassland, in the open field where there was a war going on. A war you say? Yes it was a war indeed! There were soldiers all around me and I was with several girls trying desperately to hide from all those flying bullets and missiles. I think I was wearing a school uniform of some sort. And just when you think that was the only piece of action, think again! Tom Cruise appeared in the middle of nowhere dressed in combat trying to help us find cover from those bullets and missiles. Next thing I know, the setting changed and he was sitting across the dining table from me looking kinda pooped but still devastating and just having some small talk about our relationship(?!). Apparently, he came to see me right after the war. How sweet! So now I have a premonition that I am going to end up marrying Tom Cruise, har har! Yeah right!

sounds like a broken record

2005-09-10T13:04:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer : no offense meant to the fanatics of the following...

SEVEN EFFECTIVELY ANNOYING SONGS PLAYED OVER & OVER AGAIN:

1) Tell Me Where It Hurts by Nina, or was it MYMP or Kyla?

2) Love Moves in Mysterious Ways by Nina/Kyla/Sarah Geronimo?

3) Especially For You sung by Nina/Kyla/Sarah Geronimo?

4) Constantly(?) interpreted by Nina, or was it Kyla again or Sarah Geronimo?-- is it obvious that I can't tell them apart?

5) Through The Fire again by Nina (i prefer the original version)

6) All songs sung by the Sexbomb bimbos

7) All songs sung by the sexist, masochistic Masculados

8) Just A Smile by Barbie Almalbis (frankly I like barbie but this song could really get into my nerves sometimes, especially if it reminds of the close-up reality showdown)