Thursday, September 17, 2009

bitches and cream

Labels—we never seem to get enough of it. We label things and people like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Labeling has become the habit of most people these days. It’s supposed to make life more interesting. For what is life without its ups and downs, its little surprises? There is no utopia—it’s practically non-existent, not in this present world anyway. Life’s a bitch and then you die, so they say. We deal with what we can in our own way. The outcome will be the result of our actions whether we like it or not. And that’s karma for you.

I myself am not immune to labels. I must admit, I am guilty of it—in some level. But what is a bitch? Generally, people have a negative perception of women who fall under this category. For me, there are 2 types of bitches : a) the one who makes everyone’s life a living hell just for the heck of it (it follows that this person has issues of her own), and b) my favorite, the one who pursues what she wants, regardless of the obstacles that she has to face. Personality-wise, I prefer being the latter, it has a certain edge to it. A bitch is a tough chick, a woman who knows what she wants—and usually gets it.

Most people perceive that when a girl is too aggressive for her own good whether in her present job or in her pursuit of personal happiness, she is labeled a bitch. But hey, maybe one has to be a bitch in order to gain the respect of your superiors, to climb the corporate ladder, at the same time, attain one’s goals, especially in this male-dominated society where almost everything has to be done or decided upon by our male colleagues, etc. In a patriarchal society like ours, a woman has to be assertive in some level. Otherwise, her work never gets noticed, credit is never given to her. Instead, she’s just relegated to the sidelines. Politics usually gets in the way, too. A bitch takes charge of her life, is confident about herself, not afraid to speak her mind and knows how to juggle her career and family life—a balancing act which requires dedication and a lot of guts.

Being a bitch is about taking risks, facing your fears, and making the most of what you have. It is not just being aggressive, it’s also being a role model to your peers, very much au fait about what’s happening around you. It’s about being involved with things that really matter and being aware of one’s sense of worth. But of course, there is no such thing as a perfect woman. We’re not superheroes with superpowers. We deal with our own pain, we suffer like every other human being, we get hurt one too many times. Yet, we go on with our lives, we learn from our mistakes and hope we never fall into the same mistake again. A bitch has to have a heart, too, you know. As one song goes, ‘a heart that hurts is a heart that works’. I also bitch about everything, when things aren’t going well in my life—or when I don’t expect them to happen. A knee-jerk reaction perhaps. The point is, you don’t dwell on them too much—otherwise, it will just make you feel miserable. You have to move on because life is not going to wait around for you. You just learn to be stronger, be a better person. Of course, a bitch could also be a girl sometimes; she’s not afraid to show her femininity. She giggles, she gushes about the latest fashion trends, she wears make-up, worries about zits on her face and drools over some hunk—even if he’s a jerk. She goes out with her girl friends and has fun. She’s passionate about what she does and is in touch with her feelings. She loves sunsets, rainbows and bubble baths. She appreciates nature. So what makes a bitch? All of the above!

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