confession

i have a disease-- an incurable one. I've had this for quite some time now. As a matter of fact, I have acquired it just recently. Symptoms are: inexplainable racy heart palpitations, combined with perplexing sommersaults felt mainly in the gut, loss of appetite, lightheadedness, a weakening of the joints and limbs centering on the knees, breathlessness, a sensation of euphoria, coldness in the palms and feet, nervousness, insomnia, then finally, giddiness. Surprisingly, these symptoms have resulted in my momentary feelings of bliss, similar to a utopian experience.

In case the reader is wondering, no, I haven't been thrown to the looney bin, inspite of what these manifestations tell you. I have never consulted a doctor nor any other professional about my condition and I haven't taken any medication for this disease either, especially not any of those depressants. But I have done some research based on those symptoms I have experienced so far. I have taken it upon myself to trace the cause and the development of my condition which eventually led me to the conclusion that it is caused by a certain feeling and what is popularly called "falling in love".

Apparently, I wasn't the only one who has experienced this. Millions of people have contracted the disease as well, as it tends to spread rapidly. In fact, most people have gone through this experience early on in their lives. Arguably, this condition had also been the cause of deaths of mostly young people. Sure, they have experienced the same symptoms but some people take it to the extreme.

My experience had come as of late, as I am what you call a late bloomer in the scheme of things. What I can tell you is that I have enjoyed this feeling of falling in love quite immensely. It is a state of mind where you actually feel better about yourself, that you are of value to another person, to other people. That you can do great things, good things for the most part. One can just marvel at how falling in love could feel so good. It even makes Tom Cruise uncharacteristically jump around on Oprah's couch, or so it seems...