get a grip

my recent dream has jolted me into the realization that I need to do something about my career~ or lack thereof. Although the dream itself had nothing to do whatsoever with my present job, the situation was somewhat similar ~ about taking a step forward when an opportunity comes. When a chapter closes, another one opens. I'm not saying that I'm rabidly pursuing this promotion thing, but since an opportunity has presented itself, I might as well try. Maybe I was out of focus for awhile, that I have become stagnant in my career and was just content with what and where I am at the moment. But it dawned on me that it wouldn't hurt if I take a step forward and take some risk. After all, I'm not getting any younger. Sooner or later I have to think about my future, and I certainly wouldn't want to hurl myself in the mercy of other people, to depend on them for support~ financial, emotional or otherwise. I always think that a girl should be able to stand on her own two feet without the help of a man. That way, you would be able to handle yourself well and not be this clingy piece of molasses, sickeningly sweet if I may say so. Naturally, I don't wanna pass on any burden to my current beau. I was at the greenbelt 3 mall the other day to watch one of the films from the spanish film festival, and while I was waiting for my sister, I was casually observing the people that litter the mall that time. It struck me that most of them are the executive types, and for the first time in a long time, I felt envious. I started to compare my life with them and came to the conclusion that compared to them, my life sucks and that it's just as exciting as a piece of unwanted broccolli. This made me think that I have put my career on hold for reasons that I could not even begin to think. Somewhere along the way, I think I just lost my drive. I should get back on the right track, right? And you're damn right it's about time. . . Let's see what happens next.

moment of clarity

certain realizations entered my consciousness recently when I had another dizzying spell for the past two days. I have come to realize that in trying times, one can only rely on oneself. And that waiting for salvation or some sort of a blinding light from the sky would not change anything. People has to go on with their lives, regardless of any tragedy that had befallen them. This realization was brought by the desperation wrought by the recent typhoon. The helplessness that I felt after the calamity was indescribable. It only goes to show that there are forces which are really beyond our control. It also made me think of the dependency of humans on modern gadgets for survival. Take away all of it and man is reduced to a hapless being. So after five looong days of not having the modern amenities that has become part of everyone's life, I have reached the boiling point to which I decided pending matters should be resolved soon. So I turned to the most workable alternatives, and that's how I am living my life at this point. Now let's see how far my plan will go...

the stone age

i curse the recent typhoon to the high heavens! Up to now, my local area doesn't have electricity yet while nearby places already have their f@#$%&*! electricity. What gives?! I can't simply do anything at home for the past five days! It's like going back to the stone age, fer cryin' out loud! I can't cook anything, even boil water since I'm using an electric stove! I mean, I have loads of stocked food at home but I can't eat them. I had to go out and buy cooked food and it's already costing me a lot. My patience is wearing thin. . . Grrrh!