looking ahead?

wow, it's been quite a while since I posted an entry here. I have been preoccupied with a lot of things. Mainly concerning my future. It's the third quarter of the year now and things have changed since my last post. I do not abhor the person or the intention anymore. I must have been too blind, stubborn and crazy to think it was a highway to hell. On the contrary, I think I'll be happy with this person. He has proven himself to be worthy of my attention-- and affection. But not all things have been ironed out just yet. We're taking things one step at a time. Baby steps. He knows what to expect. It's also dangerous and risky on my part. But I have been presented with a situation wherein I needed an option, a way out. It may not be the perfect plan, but it is a plan. I have to be realistic. I am not getting any younger, I can't afford to stay naive or idealistic. I have closed one looong chapter in my life. And I don't want another excruciating experience to happen again. It has been a painful journey so far but I got over it somehow. Of course there were times when I had wished it worked out the way I wanted to. That I could have swallowed my pride and start over. But I know that it's just not gonna be the same. I can never bring back the person I have loved and lost. It will never turn out the way I had imagined it to anyway. True, it's wistful and whimsical to be with the man of your dreams, but reality has to take precedence. and now, I'm taking another path to happiness. Career-wise, not so good. I still do not know what to expect in the future. I'm still at a loss on what to do with my career. But he already accepted me for what and who I am. The whole package. And I am grateful for that.