Thursday, December 16, 2004

random thoughts on love & relationships...

... yet love is a scary thing; you lose yourself. suddenly you're no longer in control, you're too dependent on another person, you can't think for yourself. I'd hate to think of me not being in control... what is it about life anyway? when you were a kid, you yearn to be a grown up; you've badly wanted to be an adult so you can do things your own way-- no criticisms, no scoldings. Just freedom. You want to prove to the world that you can make it on your own. You fought so hard to have your own space, your own time, your own life. It's funny to think that when you're finally all grown up, you yearn for another human being to become your life partner, to share your happiness, your achievements, your frustrations. And yet when we do find the right person, suddenly you find yourself becoming dependent again. Then we become detached from our own feelings. All of a sudden, we feel alienated from the world. A world full of singles enjoying what life has to offer-- having the time of their lives. What happens is that you've become detached to the world you've come accustomed to. Suddenly you want to try new things; you start missing all those things you used to do when you were a kid; you seek the child in you, you want it back. If only you go back... you regret losing your innocence. If you could only suspend time... so many ifs... so many things to do, yet so little time.

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