night falls

it's always nice to step out of the office for awhile when you're working at night, especially at this hour and at this time of year. The air for once is cool, the ambiance so laid back, and you just feel a sense of nostalgia. Since tonight is practically all saint's day eve, the streets of makati are almost deserted. No rush hour traffic, no noise barrage from vehicles and no maddening crowd. I just wish it'll be like this the rest of the year. I am almost tempted to take a walk along the stretch of ayala avenue. From point A to point B, and back. Wishful thinking. SIGH! Then again, I am now back in my workstation sipping a cup of green tea. It's not raining outside, thank god! It was humid all throughout the day.

I wish I could find a nook right now and just enjoy the sights and sounds of makati (well-lited streets and skyscrapers), and allow my mind to wander. I can't exactly say enjoy the vast open space simply because there aren't ~ not in this side of the metropolis anyway. Makati (ayala avenue, mostly) used to be emblazoned with lights during the holidays. But now they keep it to the minimum. Trying times for the economy.

Some nights ago I happened to look up at the sky and saw the moon and a sprinkle of stars. It put a smile on my face. It's funny because when I looked up at the star-filled sky, I thought the stars looked like pimples on the face of the night sky, and the waxing moon looked more like a slice of lemon. And why would I associate pimples with the stars, you might ask? I don't know! It was the first thing that came to mind, I swear. If the stars scattered in the sky that time didn't seem to look like pimples, then I thought they looked like dandruffs ~ tiny white particles on a dark backdrop. Ha Ha Ha. Me and my twisted mind again. Seriously, a star-filled sky? You don't get to see that everyday ~ not if you live in the city.

any given sunday

one lazy sunday. Fewer people are at work today, it's so quiet and the only sound you can hear is the humming sound of the airconditioning, which means it's freakin' cold in here. Been sitting here in my station beside another colleague and it's just the two of us for now ~ at least till 10pm when another colleague comes in. Today marks the first day of work for me with the new shift. It has been a long time since I was in this odd sched so I left early for work to avoid any mishaps. You never know. It rained just when I stepped out of the house. Great. Even the weather is not cooperating. Yesterday I was so bored at home and I couldn't wait till I go to work today. But now I feel ~ I dunno, not up to it I guess. Lousy for sure. This new sched will wreak havoc again in my sleeping habits. SIGH!

take heart

of course no one would expect me to explain the inner workings of my twisted mind, perhaps for fear of a terrible tongue-lashing from me or they are simply not interested whatsoever. Either way, I wouldn't mind since I cannot possibly explain the phenomenon myself. Recently, the ramblings have screeched to a halt for no apparent reason. System failure eh? Perhaps any cohesive thought was lost in the labyrinth of my mind. Somebody must've barricaded it with high walls as thick and as dangerous as the berlin wall. Naturally, one would never attempt any means of escape and/or entry and thus jeopardize themselves. Too much trouble, they might say. Might as well forget about the whole thing. But I'm talking rubbish here. Then again, all is not lost. Hope springs eternal, so they say. Who knows, one permeable thought would run amok in the deep recesses of my dark mind and threaten to spill over. Maybe I'll hijack a plane or something. Ooops. Can't make jokes about that, sensitive global security issue. Maybe I'll just jump off the plane when this political limbo end and to hell with it. Or I could do a miriam and tell everybody I lied (with matching demonic laughter shooting thru outer space). The conundrum of having a spatial mind surely gives you an empty feeling. Or a dry spell~ that feeling when you're out in the sun all day and you're parched to death but no liquid nourishment in sight? That feeling. You see, my brain has a mind of its own. It goes to unchartered territory when I specifically order it not to, and just focus on things onhand. What can I say, it just tends to wander. Typical. At times my mind harbors ridiculous thoughts one should be warned not to delve into it too much. One could be trapped, or one could become loco. So i think it is best to just take things lightly, just a nip in the bud. Hmm, I'm not making any sense at all. So now what?

doubting damsel

i don't know if I'm heading for a major crashdown...

the skunk

you know, you should do something about it once and for all. It's killing me! Seriously, I'd hate to be your girlfriend!

there is no business like...

you gotta be kidding me! jennifer aniston hooking up with vince vaughn?! tsk, tsk! Ridiculous, if you ask me. From brad pitt to vince vaughn is like downgrading your Nokia N90 to Nokia 8250. C'mon jen, you can do better than that!

the other side of love & other stories

i just found out that my current beau has a thing for jennifer love hewitt. I kept teasing him when I learned about it and he would just give me this sheepish grin. No wonder he wasn't complaining when I dragged him to the movie theater to watch her recent films. Not that the movies were any good. I don't know why jennifer love makes those kind of boring movies. You can just see her usual dorky enthusiasm in those movies with thin plots. She used to be popular, now I wonder what happened to her career.

I just finished reading mario puzo's The Godfather (I only saw part 3 of the film version) and I can see why a lot of people are crazy about the story. It's brilliant. Loved it. Before that I was reading truman capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's. I have watched the film version a dozen times, I just wanted to relive the story. It's my favorite classic movie. I just love audrey hepburn!

I only saw 2 films in the recently concluded spanish film festival which is a pity because the line up was so good. Blame it on my schedule, plus other distractions. I remember I used to go to these international filmfests almost yearly. Sometimes with my sister, most of the time with friends who share the same passion for foreign films (and I don't mean hollywood). We usually have discussions afterwards on the films we previewed. Unfortunately, I lost contact with these friends.

I love watching foreign films, never mind that you have to read the subtitles. You get used to it. French films I love the most. The french create films out of a simple plot yet make it so interesting. Cinemanila international filmfest is still ongoing until the 25th of this month. FYI.

the break up song

i consider this as the best break up song in my book (see below), not because of the lyrics (that depends on the nature of the break up) but because I just love the melody. It's edgy yet full of anguish and misery. When most people would probably opt to play sentimental songs/sob songs when they break up with their beaus, I would prefer this one. Play this non-stop all day and you just might feel good eventually. My other option would be U2's All I Want Is You. While you're playing this record, pretend you're winona ryder having a spat with ethan hawke ala reality bites. Coolness!

Mr. Brightside

The Killers

I'm coming out of my cage

And I've been doing just fine

Gotta gotta be down

Because I want it all

It started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this

It was only a kiss,

it was only a kiss

Now I'm falling asleep

And she's calling a cab

While he's having a smoke

And she's taking a drag

Now they're going to bed

And my stomach is sick

And it's all in my head

But she's touching his chest

Now, he takes off her dress

Now, letting me go

And I just can't look its killing me

And taking control

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

Swimming through sick lullabies

Choking on your alibis

But it's just the price I pay

Destiny is calling me

Open up my eager eyes

'Cause I'm Mr Brightside

I'm coming out of my cage

And I've been doing just fine

Gotta gotta be down

Because I want it all

It started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

Now I'm falling asleep

And she's calling a cab

While he's having a smoke

And she's taking a drag

Now they're going to bed

And my stomach is sick

And it's all in my head

But she's touching his chest

Now, he takes off her dress

Now, letting me go

Cause I just can't look its killing me

And taking control

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

Swimming through sick lullabies

Choking on your alibis

But it's just the price I pay

Destiny is calling me

Open up my eager eyes

'Cause I'm Mr Brightside

" Never love a wild thing. You can't give your heart to a wild thing: the more you do, the stronger they get. Until they're strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree, then a taller tree. Then the sky. That's how you'll end up if you let yourself love a wild thing. You'll end up looking at the sky. . . "

-- Holly Golightly

Breakfast At Tiffany's

all nonsense

i really don't understand the concept behind Pinoy Big Brother... I tried watching the show one lazy day and I just got bored to tears. Five minutes into the show and I was like, 'Okay so what's the big deal?' The show is a total bore! Sorry if I offend the sensibilities of PBB fans. I don't find it fascinating at all to see these young fine creatures going around the house doing domestic stuff. I could find other productive things to do or watch a more interesting show. Watching PBB is like, 'nakiki-usyoso sa kapitbahay' which is really not my thing in the first place. I might as well spy on my neighbors if that is the case. Sure, the show's contestants are good-looking but that's about spells the difference. The show is all hype and publicity, no substance. Once again, this only proves the never-ending fascination of pinoys on other people who don't seem to know how to mind their own business. To quote a line from a classic movie, 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!'

PELÍCULA (4th Spanish Film Festival )

Greenbelt 1, Cinema 1 & Cinema 2

Schedule:


Sep 29 Thursday

Días contados
La flaqueza del bolchevique
El bola
Noviembre
Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Barrio


Sep 30 Friday

Crimen ferpecto
Intacto
Los lunes al sol
El juego de la verdad
Todo sobre mi madre
Héctor


Oct 1 Saturday

Barrio
La buena estrella
El juego de la verdad
Crimen ferpecto
Planta 4ª
Tesis
Astronautas


Oct 2 Sunday

El bosque animado
Los lunes al sol
Héctor
Torremolinos 73
El abrazo partido
El bola
Noviembre


Oct 3 Monday

Soldados de Salamina
Barrio
Días contados
Astronautas
Los lunes al sol
Intacto


Oct 4 Tuesday

Días contados
La flaqueza del bolchevique
La buena estrella
El juego de la verdad
Crimen ferpecto
Planta 4ª


Oct 5 Wednesday

Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Noviembre
Todo sobre mi madre
Te doy mis ojos
Soldados de Salamina
Extranjeras


Oct 6 Thursday

Torremolinos 73
Barrio
Tesis
La ley de Herodes
Te doy mis ojos
La flaqueza del bolchevique


Oct 7 Friday

La buena estrella
Tesis
El bola
Abre los ojos
Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Mar adentro


Oct 8 Saturday

El bosque animado
Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Planta 4ª
Todo sobre mi madre
El juego de la verdad
Torremolinos 73
La ley de Herodes


Oct 9 Sunday

Intacto
Tesis
Mar adentro
Te doy mis ojos
Astronautas
Crimen ferpecto
Héctor


Oct 10 Monday

La buena estrella
El abrazo partido
Nadie hablará de nosotras cuando hayamos muerto
Subterra
Soldados de Salamina
Abre los ojos


Oct 11 Tuesday

Los lunes al sol
Extranjeras
Tesis
Planta 4ª
Días contados
La flaqueza del bolchevique


Oct 12 Wednesday

El bola
La ley de Herodes
Crimen ferpecto
Noviembre
Te doy mis ojos
El abrazo partido


Oct 13 Thursday

Soldados de Salamina
Subterra
Torremolinos 73
Intacto
Todo sobre mi madre
Abre los ojos


Oct 14 Friday

Días contados
Astronautas
Los lunes al sol
El juego de la verdad
Te doy mis ojos
La ley de Herodes


Oct 15 Saturday

Subterra
El bola
Noviembre
Te doy mis ojos
Planta 4ª
Torremolinos 73
Mar adentro


Oct 16 Sunday

El bosque animado
Todo sobre mi madre
Héctor
Soldados de Salamina


Audience Choice

La buena estrella
El juego de la verdad

cine europa @ the shang

Schedule :

23 SEP (Friday)
1 PM Step by Step
4 PM Villa des Roses
7 PM Buttoners
10 PM Dog Nail Clipper


24 SEP (Saturday)
1 PM The Spanish Apartment
4 PM Kroko
7 PM I Love to Love
10 PM A Man Not Wanted


25 SEP (Sunday)
1 PM Twinni
4 PM Millions
7 PM Extranjeras
10 PM Faithless


26 SEP (Monday)
4 PM Twinni
7 PM Step by Step
10 PM Villa des Roses


27 SEP (Tuesday)
4 PM Buttoners
7 PM Dog Nail Clipper
10 PM The Spanish Apartment


28 SEP (Wednesday)
4 PM A Man Not Wanted
7 PM Dying to Go Home
10 PM Kroko


29 SEP (Thursday)
1 PM I Love to Love
4 PM Faithless
7 PM A Man Not Wanted
10 PM Extranjeras


30 SEP (Friday)
1 PM Villa des Roses
4 PM Step by Step
7 PM The Spanish Apartment


01 OCT (Saturday)
1 PM Extranjeras
4 PM Dying to Go Home
7 PM Kroko
10 PM I Love to Love


02 OCT (Sunday)
1 PM Millions
4 PM Dog Nail Clipper
7 PM Faithless
10 PM Dying to Go Home

rock on!

Mig Ayesa should've won the Rockstar:INXS gig. I know I am being biased. But he was that close to winning... Too bad! =(

girl in the city

i always believe that a girl should be capable of living on her own at one point in her life. Going solo has its own rewards after all. For the most part, one can readily admit that the first few months (even years) of independence are the hardest. Coping with a lot of things such as loneliness and depression could prove to be difficult at first. Most especially when it comes to handling finances. Naturally, since one only has herself to rely on, one is forced to overcome obstacles/difficulties. Thus, a girl could learn to look for an apartment on her own, navigate the streets, run some errands, ask for directions without looking so utterly perplexed or clueless, do groceries and even find the best buys around the metropolis.

I have done that myself. After exiting the confines of my alma mater, I insisted on living on my own and bid for my independence. I have experienced scouting for the cheapest place to live during the first year, most of the time ending up compromising other considerations such as privacy, accessibility and of course, security. I have learned to clean up my place once I moved in, arrange things in their proper order and make myself dinner (merely opening a can of tuna will do). Money matters gave me a major headache when I was still starting out in the city. And since asking relatives for financial support was out of the question, I had to make do with what little money I have. Once I've experienced stretching my salary to the extent that my dinner consisted of one order of a personal-sized pizza from greenwich shared with another cash-strapped college classmate just so I can make ends meet. There were times when I just felt helpless. There were times as well when I felt lost and disoriented and not sure of myself.

Oh yes, I have also experienced having butterflies on my stomach during the first few weeks on my first job. I couldn't understand why I had moments of panic, one of those feelings that makes you wanna bolt out the door. And yet in all of these adjustments and trials I have encountered, there's only one thing I have noticed. I have never in my entire life replaced a single light bulb in the many places that I moved into. It has always been ready and brand new everytime I move to a new place. Otherwise, the landlord's househelp would just replace them. I know, replacing a light bulb could probably the easiest thing a girl can do around the house if she's living alone. I would love to try that sometimes. Plumbing is a major problem too. Usually, if I couldn't do anything about repairs, then tough luck! I just leave it be. I have to admit I'm a bit clueless when it comes to home repairs. And please don't give me all that crap about me being a 'girl' for not being an expert on troubleshooting the house. Anyways, a girl can just learn to do it if she really wants to. One can just buy one of those books for dummies, you know.

I once saw this survival book from humor post a couple of years ago. Everything's in that book, whether if you're a city girl or a country girl or a traveller/jetsetter. You could easily find solutions or answers from the most difficult to the downright silly stuff if in case you found yourself in that particular situation. I should've bought that book when I saw it. The only thing that stopped me then was the availability of moolah. I happened to be broke when I chanced upon the book. I bought a different survival book a couple of months back but it wasn't that complete. These days, I still try to resolve matters the way I know how, sometimes I get help from friends. As far as I know, I'm still a work in progress when it comes to troubleshooting my life.

hollywood dream

i had a funny dream last night. I found myself in the middle of a grassland, in the open field where there was a war going on. A war you say? Yes it was a war indeed! There were soldiers all around me and I was with several girls trying desperately to hide from all those flying bullets and missiles. I think I was wearing a school uniform of some sort. And just when you think that was the only piece of action, think again! Tom Cruise appeared in the middle of nowhere dressed in combat trying to help us find cover from those bullets and missiles. Next thing I know, the setting changed and he was sitting across the dining table from me looking kinda pooped but still devastating and just having some small talk about our relationship(?!). Apparently, he came to see me right after the war. How sweet! So now I have a premonition that I am going to end up marrying Tom Cruise, har har! Yeah right!

sounds like a broken record

Disclaimer : no offense meant to the fanatics of the following...

SEVEN EFFECTIVELY ANNOYING SONGS PLAYED OVER & OVER AGAIN:

1) Tell Me Where It Hurts by Nina, or was it MYMP or Kyla?

2) Love Moves in Mysterious Ways by Nina/Kyla/Sarah Geronimo?

3) Especially For You sung by Nina/Kyla/Sarah Geronimo?

4) Constantly(?) interpreted by Nina, or was it Kyla again or Sarah Geronimo?-- is it obvious that I can't tell them apart?

5) Through The Fire again by Nina (i prefer the original version)

6) All songs sung by the Sexbomb bimbos

7) All songs sung by the sexist, masochistic Masculados

8) Just A Smile by Barbie Almalbis (frankly I like barbie but this song could really get into my nerves sometimes, especially if it reminds of the close-up reality showdown)

as seen on TV

TOP FIVE ANNOYING ADS:

1) palmolive shampoo's "bounce" commercial (with the ridiculously bouncing girl)

2) creamsilk with ricky reyes ("para ka na ring nagpa-salon!" -ugh!)

3) close-up search for next model couples (teens with fake, "pilit" smiles to show off their pearly whites)

4) studio 23's barkada trip segments (I know this isn't an ad, but enough already!)

5) basically all shampoo ads from procter & gamble, unilever (one can't really tell the difference)

* perhaps McCann-Erickson, Ace Saatchi, et al could give us a break?

love poems by pablo neruda

Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Sonnet LXXXI

And now you're mine. Rest with your dream in my dream.

Love and pain and work should all sleep, now.

The night turns on its invisible wheels,

and you are pure beside me as a sleeping amber.

No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go,

we will go together, over the waters of time.

No one else will travel through the shadows with me,

only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon.

Your hands have already opened their delicate fists

and let their soft drifting signs drop away; your eyes closed like two gray

wings, and I move

after, following the folding water you carry, that carries

me away. The night, the world, the wind spin out their destiny.

Without you, I am your dream, only that, and that is all.

Sonnet XXV

Before I loved you, love, nothing was my own:

I wavered through the streets, among

objects:

nothing mattered or had a name:

the world was made of air, which waited,

I knew rooms full of ashes,

tunnels where the moon lived,

rough warehouses that growled 'get lost',

questions that insisted in the sand.

Everything was empty, dead, mute,

fallen abandoned, and decayed:

inconceivably alien, it all

belonged to someone else - to no one:

till your beauty and your poverty

filled the autumn plentiful with gifts.

positively passive

...and so I'm back from my rest day. Nothing grand happened you see. I spent it merely hibernating (except maybe the time when the pipes bursted and I was hosed with dirty water). My boyfriend was out of the house most of the time the past few weeks and I never get to spend quality time with him. He's always catching a flight to numerous business trips within the country. Being an architect who foresees landscape projects nowadays, I guess he has to see loads of 'landscapes' all over the country. By the time he gets back from one those trips, he's too exhausted already and almost always preoccupied with work stuff to be doing anything else with me. Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those clingy girlfriends who would just pine away for their boyfriends when they're not around. I do like my own space sometimes. In fact, I get irritable when I see my boyfriend around all the time. I merely want to spend some time with him whenever possible, go out watch a movie or something. Sometimes being together, we just end up fighting over something so unbelievably nonsense. I guess I can't do anything about it. Today he's off to Ilocos for god knows how long. My days are so uneventful, it has become a routine so much so that I want to break the monotony, so help me god...

booked

i'm reading the sequel to the bestseller book by the same authors of Holy Blood, Holy Grail. The controversial book which was one of Dan Brown's sources/inspiration for writing The Da Vinci Code (i can't wait to see the movie). Hence, i haven't been posting anything in this blog. The said sequel is as interesting as the first one. It's non-fiction so it's all facts and figures. Mostly about the origin of Christianity as we know it, as well as controversial topics which are still being deliberated today, such as the 'infamous' connection between Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene. It's interesting to note that Christianity is merely an accident in history and that Jesus' divinity was a result of a vote in the council attended by the church fathers. So he was a mortal man after all, who had a twin brother and who sired children. Hmmmm... The facts are quite explosive and addicting, not to mention mind-boggling. And so I have to finish the book...