becoming undone

there are things in life that you cannot undo, no matter how you wished it to be. That's a fact of life; you can only regret doing it (or not doing it). The truth of the matter is, one cannot go back to the same situation and expect the same result. The hardest part is trying your best to change a person when you know from the start that it will not work. I don't believe in trying to change a person into the mold that you think fits him/her best. Or worse, trying to mold him/her according to your standards. I alone don't believe in standards. I don't like putting people under categories and subjecting them to cruel (clinical?) scrutiny. How can you possibly like a person if you try to change the very things that attracted you in the first place? Do you like the person because you can change him/her? Or you like him/her just the way he/she is? I would rather belong to the latter. I would not stand to being just a regular walking and talking barbie doll with no brains. And no, I will not become just a sheep among the flock. Every Tom, Dick and Harry can just remain regular Tom, Dick and Harry. But not me. I may not look like it but I would rather stand out than belong to the mediocre. If I want to change any aspect about my life or my personality for that matter, I'm the only authority to do that, nobody else. If you appreciate what and who I am, then well and good. If you don't, it's okay. Life goes on. Wallowing in self-pity will not get you anywhere anyway. But of course, one can expect to grow along the way. You learn from your mistakes and move on. You try to become a better person. You learn new skills, you discover new talents. You outgrow things; like your habit of sleeping with a teddy bear as a security blanket, your fascination with cartoons, your obsession with Hello Kitty, your fetish for sweets, etc. You even outgrow your friends-- whether you met them during your childhood or during your high school days. It's very rare that you meet a person and you want that person to remain in your life for eternity. If you do find that person, then you must be the luckiest person on earth. So go ahead and cherish it, cherish the friendship, because you will not find that kind of person in your lifetime ever again. If you lose that person, it will be a tragedy.